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서비스 입니다.

Do you think mental health is more important than physical health? Why so?

작성자: 반*
2023-07-03 2412

회원님의 영작문

I think mental health is more important than physical health.

Doctors say stress is the source of all disease.

Even healthy people get sick when their minds get sick.

On the contrary, even those who are not healthy in their bodies recover quickly when their mind become healthy.

There are some good hormones to release stress and enhance mental health.

First, endorphin. That comes out when you smile. It has a pain-killing effect, boost immunity, and increase cancer-killing cells.

Second is serotonin, which comes out when you’re comfortable. It comes out when you have good news, good music, and gratitude.
And it relieves your mental tension and stabilizes your blood pressure.

The third is melatonin. It is secreted when you sleep enough, and it plays an important role in immunity, anti-aging, and anti-inflammatory.

Let’s smile a lot, see or listen good things a lot, touched a lot, and get enough sleep so that we can take care of our mental health.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Philip. In this modern competitive society we live in, stress is more common and intensified. Finding a good way to release stress and sleeping well enough are indeed necessary.

I think mental health is more important than physical health.
>>>   correct
Doctors say stress is the source of all disease.
>>>   correct
Even healthy people get sick when their minds get sick.
>>>   correct
On the contrary, even those who are not healthy in their bodies recover quickly when their mind become healthy.
>>>  correct 
>>> OR: On the contrary, even those who are not healthy physically recover quickly when their mind is healthy.
There are some good hormones to release stress and enhance mental health.
>>> There are some good hormones to relieve stress and enhance mental health. 
First, endorphin. 
>>>  correct 
That comes out when you smile. 
>>>  correct 
It has a pain-killing effect, boost immunity, and increases cancer-killing cells.
>>>  correct  
Second is serotonin, which comes out when you’re comfortable. 
>>>  correct  
It comes out when you have good news, good music, and gratitude.
>>>  correct  
And it relieves your mental tension and stabilizes your blood pressure.
>>>  correct  
The third is melatonin. 
>>>  correct  
It is secreted when you sleep enough, and it plays an important role in immunity, anti-aging, and anti-inflammatory.
>>>  correct  
Let’s smile a lot, see or listen good things a lot, touched a lot, and get enough sleep so that we can take care of our mental health.
>>>   Let’s smile a lot, see or listen to good things a lot, be touched a lot, and get enough sleep so that we can take care of our mental health.
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