¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are other major issues that you can observe in New York?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2023-07-03 1915

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, from my perspective, there are some issues to point out in New York.
First of all, they need to resolve about refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. Because they have no ability to live here, subsidies from local council is necessary. But some citizens have complaints about that. I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple weeks ago. Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming election, there are a lot of polities differently between conservative party and democratic party such as issue of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. However, I also think that like your opinion, as sexual identity would lead to their social status in their whole life, they might claim to concentrate of being free .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Jane!

Every country in the world may have a little struggle among it's people. Issues arising from politics, religion, and many other ideologies of gender, race, culture, among many others polarize people. It may be crucial to choose a side in many occasions to voice out our rights in a democratic government. 

As you now live in a more diverse and dynamic society, your thoughts may sometimes be put into test. By then, you may need to take your side and assert your logical reasons for supporting it.

Congratulations to your correct sentences! They are long, meaningful, and also used very good transition words as well as various sentence patterns. Please study the underscored parts and analyze the patterns. 

Thank you for your time and diligence in answering the homework. See you!

-T. Donna~

Well, from my perspective, there are some issues to point out in New York.
>> Correct!

First of all, they need to resolve about refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. 
>>  First of all, they need to resolve about the issues on refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. 

Because they have no ability to live here, subsidies from local council is necessary.
>> Correct! 

But some citizens have complaints about that. 
>> Correct!

I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple weeks ago. 
>> I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple of weeks ago. 

Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming election, there are a lot of polities differently between conservative party and democratic party such as issue of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. 
>> Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming elections, there are a lot of politics differently between the conservative party and the democratic party such as issues of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. 

However, I also think that like your opinion, as sexual identity would lead to their social status in their whole life, they might claim to concentrate of being free .
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130308 What are some measures that we can do to reduce our carbon... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2208
130307 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1831
130306 What is your own definition of school discipline and behavior... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 3
130305 homework 08.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1218
130304 How would your friends describe you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1394
130303 What do you think is the best place to travel to? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1265
130302 My favorite part about school ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1698
130301 Is it too late to solve climate change? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1368
130300 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1047
130299 When do you worry a lot? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130298 Impulsive shopping experience ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1531
130297 Do you respect people who can drink a lot? Why or why not? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130296 Which do you think is more important, modern dance or... °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1890
130295 WRITING TASK: What do you think is the most valuable thing in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 5
130294 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2143
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1362
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2487
130290 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1495
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1959

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04