¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are other major issues that you can observe in New York?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2023-07-03 1906

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, from my perspective, there are some issues to point out in New York.
First of all, they need to resolve about refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. Because they have no ability to live here, subsidies from local council is necessary. But some citizens have complaints about that. I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple weeks ago. Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming election, there are a lot of polities differently between conservative party and democratic party such as issue of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. However, I also think that like your opinion, as sexual identity would lead to their social status in their whole life, they might claim to concentrate of being free .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Jane!

Every country in the world may have a little struggle among it's people. Issues arising from politics, religion, and many other ideologies of gender, race, culture, among many others polarize people. It may be crucial to choose a side in many occasions to voice out our rights in a democratic government. 

As you now live in a more diverse and dynamic society, your thoughts may sometimes be put into test. By then, you may need to take your side and assert your logical reasons for supporting it.

Congratulations to your correct sentences! They are long, meaningful, and also used very good transition words as well as various sentence patterns. Please study the underscored parts and analyze the patterns. 

Thank you for your time and diligence in answering the homework. See you!

-T. Donna~

Well, from my perspective, there are some issues to point out in New York.
>> Correct!

First of all, they need to resolve about refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. 
>>  First of all, they need to resolve about the issues on refugees who came from South America such as Brazil, Mexico and so on. 

Because they have no ability to live here, subsidies from local council is necessary.
>> Correct! 

But some citizens have complaints about that. 
>> Correct!

I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple weeks ago. 
>> I heard that there was a vote among the citizens in this connection a couple of weeks ago. 

Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming election, there are a lot of polities differently between conservative party and democratic party such as issue of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. 
>> Apart from that, in preparation for the forthcoming elections, there are a lot of politics differently between the conservative party and the democratic party such as issues of free subsidies for low income people and regulation of being free and so on. 

However, I also think that like your opinion, as sexual identity would lead to their social status in their whole life, they might claim to concentrate of being free .
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130419 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2051
130418 ¤µ ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1696
130417 When did you last hang out with your friends? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1947
130416 Why is it necessary to keep one\'s privacy in this... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2109
130415 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1571
130414 The importance of having a vacation ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2506
130413 The importance of advertising a product ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2038
130412 WRITING TASK: What was your favorite trip? Please tell me the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130411 Homework : If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life,... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1885
130410 What are the usual consequences of being tardy or absent? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130409 How can different generations improve their communication with... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2087
130408 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1854
130407 fear ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1748
130406 8/23 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130405 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1459
130404 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130403 Can you share a time when a friend supported you differently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130402 Write about your experience wite COVID-19. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 1
130401 What\'s your thought on the relationship between fans and the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 3
130400 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04