¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-06-29 2275

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?

There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
So, wages are very high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?


There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
>> CORRECT!
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
>> There are construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, and many more.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
>> Among them, I think the most dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
>> They're fishermen, but it is a bit more special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
>> Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least, or months at most, they catch fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
>> CORRECT!
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
>> If their ship breaks down, they should fix it on their own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
>> It can be because of their equipment (net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
>> If they're sick, they can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
>>  And the nature of their work is extremely hard.
So, wages are very high.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127040 3.30 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 569
127039 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127038 Impulsive buyer ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127037 3.30 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 647
127036 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127035 Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look... õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127034 If you won a million dollars what things would you change about... Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 618
127033 What do you think is the worst crime a person could commit? Why? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 985
127032 execution ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 762
127031 Networking ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127030 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 801
127029 Kinship and friendship ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1131
127028 Smiling!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1784
127027 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 871
127026 What is an ideal family life like for you? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127025 my dream job is adventurer À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1118
127024 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 662
127023 HOMEWORK FOR 03/29 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1
127022 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1
127021 The complaints ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 673

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04