¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-06-29 1910

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?

There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
So, wages are very high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?


There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
>> CORRECT!
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
>> There are construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, and many more.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
>> Among them, I think the most dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
>> They're fishermen, but it is a bit more special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
>> Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least, or months at most, they catch fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
>> CORRECT!
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
>> If their ship breaks down, they should fix it on their own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
>> It can be because of their equipment (net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
>> If they're sick, they can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
>>  And the nature of their work is extremely hard.
So, wages are very high.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128731 Writing Task 0607 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2
128730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128729 What advice can you give to people who are depressed? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 568
128728 How do you know when to stop eating? Is it easy to eat too much? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 562
128727 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128726 how weekend makes my feel ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 738
128725 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1230
128724 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1039
128723 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 935
128722 What kind of restaurants do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 920
128721 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1173
128720 homework °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2038
128719 How can someone spot romance scammers? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 6
128718 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1116
128717 Do you always make sure that you are prepared when natural... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 2
128716 homework 06.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1153
128715 My favorite day ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1000
128714 What is your favorite movie and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 805
128713 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 684

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04