¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-06-29 2133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?

There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
So, wages are very high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?


There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
>> CORRECT!
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
>> There are construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, and many more.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
>> Among them, I think the most dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
>> They're fishermen, but it is a bit more special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
>> Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least, or months at most, they catch fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
>> CORRECT!
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
>> If their ship breaks down, they should fix it on their own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
>> It can be because of their equipment (net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
>> If they're sick, they can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
>>  And the nature of their work is extremely hard.
So, wages are very high.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133342 What healthy life choices did you make this year? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1232
133341 homework 12.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1139
133340 What do you like most about your husband\'s family? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 3
133339 Imagine you\'re a snowman and write about your life. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133338 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133337 What three things would you change if you were in charge of... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1766
133336 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133335 Influence of diet ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 959
133334 Homerwork ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 957
133333 If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133332 Do you think snow is beautiful? What fun things can you do in... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 7
133331 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What will you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133330 Why do some people seem to age faster than others? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133329 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1373
133328 Did you have a hairstyle a long time ago that you think is... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1564
133327 >> What are your thoughts on the slavery of Black people in... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2
133326 What is your favorite place in the world and why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 0
133325 What kind of festival in Korea would you like to go to someday? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 2038
133324 hotel ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1148
133323 What was the worst kind of fake news you ever read? Can you tell... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1189

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04