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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-06-29 1368

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I rode a bicycle with my wife this morning.
And, the computer shop boss came to my house to fix our printer.
He diagnosed that some component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.
Again, I realized that the machine and gadget never last forever.
As for my itinerary, there seemed to be need to change many schedules.
Although today was my day off, there were many things that I should be concerned about in the clinic.
Hence, I checked the work related chats every 30 minutes.
Fortunately, the profit for today was so good.
The end day of this month is coming soon, so that I have to calculate the staff's salaries and the tax tomorrow.
We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work in that periods.
About my assignment, I just want my daughters to do everything except for watching Youtube during their free time.
How about you?
See you soon.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. KIm!

I enjoyed my time playing soccer with my son and just staying at home working and cooking. It is pretty inactive so today, I decided to go out and walk around. However, before that, I am here checking your essay before I get going.

As my computer was acting up last week, here you are with your printer having some glitch. Changing a broken part is wise than buying the whole thing sometimes. Depending on the broken part and severity of problem, we can decide weather trashing it is better or a good repair can fix the problem.

I am sure that you can find tickets for you and Irene when you get to Singapore. Do not let this issue spoil the fun. Not even the rain can dampen your happiness in Singapore.

Congratulations yet again for a great profit! Dr. MJ is the happiest person when you hit this mark. Meanwhile, pay day is coming. Thus, best of luck on your accounting.

Now is the era of YouTube and AI. We have to maximize the use of these gadgets to be aids of our learning. If my son watches YouTube, it must be something fun, meaningful, and safe. In reality, videos can be violent, meaningless, and dangerous. We also nee to warn our children about these. Not knowing what a bad video from a good one is a skill they need to develop since we are moving forward with this medium and we shall continue to be surrounded by it even more in the future.

Your ideas are loaded here on this composition. You have a systematic way of telling your story and an effective transition that make your points easily understood. Go over my suggestions carefully.

Excellent piece, keep it up!

-T. Donna~ 

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I rode a bicycle with my wife this morning.
>> Correct!

And, the computer shop boss came to my house to fix our printer.
>> Correct!

He diagnosed that some component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.
>> He diagnosed that a component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.

Again, I realized that the machine and gadget never last forever.
>> Correct!

As for my itinerary, there seemed to be need to change many schedules.
>> As for my itinerary, there seemed to be a need to change many schedules.

Although today was my day off, there were many things that I should be concerned about in the clinic.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Hence, I checked the work related chats every 30 minutes.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, the profit for today was so good.
>> Correct!

The end day of this month is coming soon, so that I have to calculate the staff's salaries and the tax tomorrow.
>> Correct!

We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work in that periods.
>> We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work (in/during) that period.

About my assignment, I just want my daughters to do everything except for watching Youtube during their free time.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

How about you?
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
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