¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-27 1439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
It was a hectic day.
In fact, there were only few patients/clients at the clinic.
However, there were many things that I should concern about.
First, many staff made many mistakes.
Second, a new bothersome administrative work happened.
Third, the scanner of compound machine was broken.
And, I selected a drying machine for my mother, because I promised her that I will buy one.
Of course, the profit for today was not good.
These situation made me upset.
However, there was also good things.
After the work, I attended the conference, which was held in a good hotel near my house.
I met my friend there, and we enjoyed dinner that was served.
That dinner was amazing; composed of steak, grilled prawn, cabier, and cake.
Because my friend has a membership of that hotel, we could enjoy Sauna.
Sauna really relaxed me so much.
The last, my friend showed me his new car; Porche 911 carrera GTS.
His car looked so great, so that I applauded for it.
Tomorrow is my day off.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

As Dr. MJ goes for a day off, expect that your tasks may be doubled. Nonetheless, your staff is right there to support you. However, if you still have to tell them in detail what they need to do accurately, that can be so tough. Then, constant reminders are a must.

Sometimes, when it rains, it pours. One problem arises after another. When the staff are not doing well, the scanner breaks, and so on. Luckily, at the end of the day, you have very good friends who can ease your weariness through a hearty meal, sauna, and a brand new car!

Therefore, I can see that your life is still in perfect balance. You are truly fortunate no matter what happens.

So, read my grammar suggestions on prepositions, verb tenses, the use of 'a' and 'the', among others. Overall, your composition displays complexity and clarity as well as breath and depth of ideas. Excellent job!

See you later!

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

It was a hectic day.
>> Correct!

In fact, there were only few patients/clients at the clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: In fact, there were only few patients/clients in the clinic.

However, there were many things that I should concern about.
>> However, there were many things that I should be concerned about.

First, many staff made many mistakes.
>> Correct!

Second, a new bothersome administrative work happened.
>> Correct!

Third, the scanner of compound machine was broken.
>> Third, the scanner of the compound machine was broken.

And, I selected a drying machine for my mother, because I promised her that I will buy one.
>> Correct!

Of course, the profit for today was not good.
>> Correct!

These situation made me upset.
>> These situations made me upset.

However, there was also good things.
>> However, there were also good things.

After the work, I attended the conference, which was held in a good hotel near my house.
>> Correct!
Or:  After the work, I attended a conference which was held in a good hotel near my house.

I met my friend there, and we enjoyed dinner that was served.
>> Correct!

That dinner was amazing; composed of steak, grilled prawn, cabier, and cake.
>> Correct!
Or: That dinner was amazing and it was composed of steak, grilled prawn, caviar, and cake.

Because my friend has a membership of that hotel, we could enjoy Sauna.
>> Correct!

Sauna really relaxed me so much.
>> Correct!

The last, my friend showed me his new car; Porche 911 carrera GTS.
>> Correct!

His car looked so great, so that I applauded for it.
>> His car looked so great, so that I applauded it.

Tomorrow is my day off.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131281 What are your greatest professional strengths? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1054
131280 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The moral... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131279 What are some of the reasons of divorce in your country? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131278 I wrote down interview answers about the exchange students... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131277 What is something that you are thankful for? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1484
131276 Cimer swimming pool ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1187
131275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1110
131274 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1158
131273 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1453
131272 HOMEWORK-230925 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131271 While on board ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1142
131270 WRITING TASK: What kind of help do you need most of the time? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131269 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131268 My favorite holiday ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131267 stalking ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1678
131266 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1427
131265 How do you distinguish which feedback to listen to and which to... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131264 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2
131263 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1474
131262 To share my travel experience. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1026

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04