¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-25 2072

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
I had an working weekend as usual.
Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
It made me happy.
And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
And we made it.
There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was full of food and fun. Thank you for asking! For you, it was full of prescriptions, patients/ clients, and paper work, probably. Anyway, In the middle of the week, you and your daughters had a fantastic time in Lotte World. I agree with Dr. MJ. Since you are sending them a lot of prescriptions, they  directly benefit from your patients. So, the pharmacists in a way, has to give back that favor. 

In the case of the boy who has thick toenails, it is very good to know that your treatment is working so well. With your expertise, via the power of mouth, the mother can highly recommend you to her friends who may need your help. So, congratulations to the success of your nail treatment!

Finally, as someone who is not much fond of facial products, I think that you are absolutely correct, removing moisture on our face by putting too many products can speed up skin aging instead of keeping it youthful.

There are a few simple grammar suggestions to your composition. Kindly read and memorize the patterns. Overall, you did a great piece of writing!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

I had an working weekend as usual.
>> I had a working weekend as usual.

Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
>> Correct!

There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
>> Correct!

Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
>> Correct!

It made me happy.
>> Correct!

And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
>> Correct!
Or: Dr. MJ expects that they will give us more presents.

Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about a nail disorder.

I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
>>  I tried to use a new nail drill to make a thick toenail thinner.

And we made it.
>> Correct!
Or: And, we made it.

There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
>> There is a boy who has a fungal infected toenail.

He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
>> Correct!

I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
>> Correct!

After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
>> Correct!

As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
>> As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV rays directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleansing.

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126530 13.Mar.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126529 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why? Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 669
126528 Being alone ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 5
126527 How do we define life? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 448
126526 Waiting is good for people¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 532
126525 What animals are you afraid of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126524 Why is dental care important? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 2
126523 Iarge group or small group ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 668
126522 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 5
126521 What skill are you cultivating? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-15 1
126520 How do you prefer to be paid, in cash or have money transferred... °û*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 580
126519 Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? °û*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 548
126518 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 485
126517 What are the advantages and disadvantages of setting up an... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 593
126516 Many people think that we learn from the past, but there are... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 513
126515 Do you prefer to finish things early or wait until the deadline... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 2
126514 My favorite food Áö*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 666
126513 How do you incorporate nature into your everyday life? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 606
126512 homework 03.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 572
126511 How do you feel after a long vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-14 696

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04