¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-25 1760

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
I had an working weekend as usual.
Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
It made me happy.
And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
And we made it.
There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was full of food and fun. Thank you for asking! For you, it was full of prescriptions, patients/ clients, and paper work, probably. Anyway, In the middle of the week, you and your daughters had a fantastic time in Lotte World. I agree with Dr. MJ. Since you are sending them a lot of prescriptions, they  directly benefit from your patients. So, the pharmacists in a way, has to give back that favor. 

In the case of the boy who has thick toenails, it is very good to know that your treatment is working so well. With your expertise, via the power of mouth, the mother can highly recommend you to her friends who may need your help. So, congratulations to the success of your nail treatment!

Finally, as someone who is not much fond of facial products, I think that you are absolutely correct, removing moisture on our face by putting too many products can speed up skin aging instead of keeping it youthful.

There are a few simple grammar suggestions to your composition. Kindly read and memorize the patterns. Overall, you did a great piece of writing!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

I had an working weekend as usual.
>> I had a working weekend as usual.

Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
>> Correct!

There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
>> Correct!

Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
>> Correct!

It made me happy.
>> Correct!

And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
>> Correct!
Or: Dr. MJ expects that they will give us more presents.

Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about a nail disorder.

I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
>>  I tried to use a new nail drill to make a thick toenail thinner.

And we made it.
>> Correct!
Or: And, we made it.

There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
>> There is a boy who has a fungal infected toenail.

He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
>> Correct!

I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
>> Correct!

After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
>> Correct!

As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
>> As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV rays directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleansing.

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129061 Should the fashion industry use models that look more like... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1095
129060 Who is the person you admire the most? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2221
129059 Should cell phones be allowed at school? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1348
129058 Night¡¯s sleep Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2187
129057 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1760
129056 HOMEWORK1 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129055 Writing Task 0623 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 1
129054 Are you a health-conscious person? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129053 Which among your goals have you already achived? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 689
129052 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 642
129051 What is your favorite color? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 600
129050 Homework 6/23 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129049 Who is the most inspiring athlete you know? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-25 2
129048 My favorite song ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-24 792
129047 the best place in my country ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-24 0
129046 Can an AI have compassion or a sense of justice? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-24 5
129045 Make new friends! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-24 1270
129044 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 914
129043 homework 06.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1070
129042 What fiecest animal that you seen? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04