¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-25 1762

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
I had an working weekend as usual.
Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
It made me happy.
And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
And we made it.
There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was full of food and fun. Thank you for asking! For you, it was full of prescriptions, patients/ clients, and paper work, probably. Anyway, In the middle of the week, you and your daughters had a fantastic time in Lotte World. I agree with Dr. MJ. Since you are sending them a lot of prescriptions, they  directly benefit from your patients. So, the pharmacists in a way, has to give back that favor. 

In the case of the boy who has thick toenails, it is very good to know that your treatment is working so well. With your expertise, via the power of mouth, the mother can highly recommend you to her friends who may need your help. So, congratulations to the success of your nail treatment!

Finally, as someone who is not much fond of facial products, I think that you are absolutely correct, removing moisture on our face by putting too many products can speed up skin aging instead of keeping it youthful.

There are a few simple grammar suggestions to your composition. Kindly read and memorize the patterns. Overall, you did a great piece of writing!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

I had an working weekend as usual.
>> I had a working weekend as usual.

Fortunately, the profit for this weekend was not bad.
>> Correct!

There were many patients, and it means I gave them many prescriptions.
>> Correct!

Thus, the pharmacist in our building texted me that they always have a gratitude to us and they want to serve us great dinner.
>> Correct!

It made me happy.
>> Correct!

And Dr. MJ expected that they will give us more presents.
>> Correct!
Or: Dr. MJ expects that they will give us more presents.

Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about nail disorder.
>> Correct!
Or: Meanwhile, we introduced a new treatment about a nail disorder.

I tried to use a new nail drill to make thick toenail thinner.
>>  I tried to use a new nail drill to make a thick toenail thinner.

And we made it.
>> Correct!
Or: And, we made it.

There is a boy who have a fungal infected toenail.
>> There is a boy who has a fungal infected toenail.

He is just four years old, and he has gotten a laser treatment.
>> Correct!

I was so worried about his disease, because we couldn't see the improvement of his nail disease.
>> Correct!

After drilling his thick nail, it became a better appearance, and then his mother and I were glad about it.
>> Correct!

As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV ray directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleasing.
>> As for my skin care, I always try to avoid UV rays directly and avoid lots of stimulation like peeling, pack and strong cleansing.

See you
>> Correct!
Or: See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130301 Is it too late to solve climate change? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1364
130300 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1040
130299 When do you worry a lot? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130298 Impulsive shopping experience ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1522
130297 Do you respect people who can drink a lot? Why or why not? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130296 Which do you think is more important, modern dance or... °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1885
130295 WRITING TASK: What do you think is the most valuable thing in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 5
130294 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2138
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1355
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2480
130290 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1488
130289 If given the chance, what policies in Korea do you wish to... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1952
130288 How do you find balance between work and personal life? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1450
130287 Do you take vitamins? Do they really help people, or do they... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130286 Would you allow Lucy to sleep on your bed? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130285 What makes healthy lifestyle important? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1542
130284 What do you think is an effective way to encourage people to... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1859
130283 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1056
130282 homework 08.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-17 1377

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04