¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you meet some South Koreans there in your place, what kind of information will you ask them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2023-06-23 590

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. I want to meet people to make a friend.
Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Jane!

Wow, you never forgot to write and your sentences are even longer and better! I am so happy to read from you here on the composition site once again!

Trying to find new friends can take place in some of your favorite places, like a coffee shop or a restaurant. Also, you can be in the loop of the local events such as market day on weekends. Attend them and introduce yourself. You can also try using an application on your phone. Seek out people with similar interests and don¡¯t be afraid to make the first move.

As you can see, some grammar suggestions contain efficient ways of using conjunctions as well as correct capitalization. Thank you for sending this excellent answer! I shall rea from you again next time.

Happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 
>> Correct!
Or: Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes, shoes, and groceries not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 

Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
>> Correct!

Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. 
>> Correct!

I want to meet people to make a friend.
>> Correct!

Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.
>> Correct!
Or: Presbyterian
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130424 What was the most exciting part of the concert? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130423 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130422 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1741
130421 What\'s your thought on cardiovascular exercise? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130420 What was the biggest thing you have accomplished this week? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1612
130419 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1658
130418 ¤µ ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1409
130417 When did you last hang out with your friends? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1492
130416 Why is it necessary to keep one\'s privacy in this... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1634
130415 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1223
130414 The importance of having a vacation ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2000
130413 The importance of advertising a product ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1549
130412 WRITING TASK: What was your favorite trip? Please tell me the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3
130411 Homework : If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life,... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1520
130410 What are the usual consequences of being tardy or absent? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1
130409 How can different generations improve their communication with... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1670
130408 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1544
130407 fear ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1411
130406 8/23 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130405 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 1237

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04