¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you meet some South Koreans there in your place, what kind of information will you ask them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*°æ
2023-06-23 629

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. I want to meet people to make a friend.
Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Jane!

Wow, you never forgot to write and your sentences are even longer and better! I am so happy to read from you here on the composition site once again!

Trying to find new friends can take place in some of your favorite places, like a coffee shop or a restaurant. Also, you can be in the loop of the local events such as market day on weekends. Attend them and introduce yourself. You can also try using an application on your phone. Seek out people with similar interests and don¡¯t be afraid to make the first move.

As you can see, some grammar suggestions contain efficient ways of using conjunctions as well as correct capitalization. Thank you for sending this excellent answer! I shall rea from you again next time.

Happy weekend!

-T. Donna~

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes and shoes, grocery not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 
>> Correct!
Or: Well, first of all, I'd like to ask some useful shopping centers such as clothes, shoes, and groceries not just big shopping malls like COSTCO and Walmart. 

Because, those are quite busy and there are too many products packed which are too heavy.
>> Correct!

Besides, I wonder if there are Korean communities. 
>> Correct!

I want to meet people to make a friend.
>> Correct!

Lastly, I want to choose a good presbyterian church so that I can relax and recharge my batteries through worship and relationship with the people.
>> Correct!
Or: Presbyterian
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131090 Who do people need hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 992
131089 Homework-230915 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 2
131088 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 902
131087 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-17 689
131086 How do you think you can build a trusting relationship with... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 1137
131085 What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 804
131084 Have you ever had any memorable swimming experiences or... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-16 853
131083 How does a computer help us learn and have fun? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 930
131082 Do you think that parents should have the right to opt their... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 4
131081 How do people typically unwind and de-stress on Fridays? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 3
131080 homework 09.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 721
131079 Would you rather watch sports or play them? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1038
131078 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131077 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 0
131076 What other I.T. projects have you made in the past that are... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 3
131075 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 0
131074 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 0
131073 Do you have any goals that you feel are unrealistic? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1318
131072 Wednesday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131071 . ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04