¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-06-20 573

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe, using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run. There is a phrase, a penny saved is a penny earned. Well, preventing dementia by using social media will not quickly show positive consequences. However, as the phrase said, even if it's just a small thing, it will bring a huge result in the end. Social media becomes the best method for anything, even if it seems impossible. In other words, social media has used for even treat people. Also, for diseases that relate to brain function, I believe social media is the best option since it provides applications that can help to practice speaking, reading, listening, and writing, which is the essential and basic way to prevent the diseases, such as dementia, Alzheimer, etc.

(Well, Ms. Harmony. I don't have any idea about this topic... I tried my best...!)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

What I like about this essay is that even if you did not tell me a lot, it remained informative and relevant to the topic at hand.  You made sure to elaborate as well in order to persuade your reader. Great job! See you in class tonight. 
~T.Harmony <3

I believe, using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run. 
>> CORRECT!
There is a phrase, a penny saved is a penny earned. 
>> CORRECT!
Well, preventing dementia by using social media will not quickly show positive consequences. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...will not immediately show positive results.
However, as the phrase said, even if it's just a small thing, it will bring a huge result in the end. 
>> CORRECT!
Social media becomes the best method for anything, even if it seems impossible. 
>> Social media has become the best method...
In other words, social media has used for even treat people. 
>> ...has been used for treatment of people.
Also, for diseases that relate to brain function, I believe social media is the best option since it provides applications that can help to practice speaking, reading, listening, and writing, which is the essential and basic way to prevent the diseases, such as dementia, Alzheimer, etc.
>> CORRECT!

( Thank you for still doing your best, Su A. (¡Ü'◡'¡Ü) )
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129992 Homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 1462
129991 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 1672
129990 What problems are caused by radioactive pollution? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 2
129989 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 3727
129988 How could public transport in your city be improved? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-06 7
129987 What\'s your opinion about a four-day work week? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1443
129986 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1448
129985 How do you balance the desire to see and experience as much as... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 2603
129984 What\'s your ideal weekend? What\'s the perfect weekend for you? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 13
129983 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 0
129982 In your opinion, what is insomnia? Please give its pros (if it... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1795
129981 Getting enough sleep helps heal your body from any pain or... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 1745
129980 What are the advantages and disdvantages of wacthing the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 3167
129979 What do you like best about camping? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-05 3
129978 Answer the following questions in full sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2195
129977 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2197
129976 What do you do when you feel anxious about something? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2
129975 homework 08.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1689
129974 Choose one that you like chocolate, ice cream or candies why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1511
129973 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 2015

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04