¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2023-06-20 741

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe, using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run. There is a phrase, a penny saved is a penny earned. Well, preventing dementia by using social media will not quickly show positive consequences. However, as the phrase said, even if it's just a small thing, it will bring a huge result in the end. Social media becomes the best method for anything, even if it seems impossible. In other words, social media has used for even treat people. Also, for diseases that relate to brain function, I believe social media is the best option since it provides applications that can help to practice speaking, reading, listening, and writing, which is the essential and basic way to prevent the diseases, such as dementia, Alzheimer, etc.

(Well, Ms. Harmony. I don't have any idea about this topic... I tried my best...!)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

What I like about this essay is that even if you did not tell me a lot, it remained informative and relevant to the topic at hand.  You made sure to elaborate as well in order to persuade your reader. Great job! See you in class tonight. 
~T.Harmony <3

I believe, using social media to prevent dementia can have repercussions in the long run. 
>> CORRECT!
There is a phrase, a penny saved is a penny earned. 
>> CORRECT!
Well, preventing dementia by using social media will not quickly show positive consequences. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> ...will not immediately show positive results.
However, as the phrase said, even if it's just a small thing, it will bring a huge result in the end. 
>> CORRECT!
Social media becomes the best method for anything, even if it seems impossible. 
>> Social media has become the best method...
In other words, social media has used for even treat people. 
>> ...has been used for treatment of people.
Also, for diseases that relate to brain function, I believe social media is the best option since it provides applications that can help to practice speaking, reading, listening, and writing, which is the essential and basic way to prevent the diseases, such as dementia, Alzheimer, etc.
>> CORRECT!

( Thank you for still doing your best, Su A. (¡Ü'◡'¡Ü) )
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132860 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2975
132859 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1205
132858 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2760
132857 Family gathering ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132856 Homework 3 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2832
132855 What\'s the difference between motel and hotel? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1994
132854 Should military service be compulsory? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132853 What strategies do you find most effective in addressing... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1810
132852 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132851 What pricey that I want ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2167
132850 homework 11.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1571
132849 How do you choose/pick a restaurant to go to? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1668
132848 What advice would you give to a student who says he/she is not... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1
132847 Direct questions or indirect ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1726
132846 Would you rather go to the doctor or the dentist? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1235
132845 WRITING TASK: How can you be a savvy consumer? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4
132844 Homework ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132843 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132842 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132841 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04