¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

6/20 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*º½
2023-06-20 799

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, The people have to be skilled that was designed building something.
Because the first step is designing that.
Good design catch people's eyes.
And this give attractive impression to people.
Second step is tool's skill.
The people that want to make something need to have skilled that is tool's skill.
Finally If you have these, you can make something that you want it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sae Bom!

Thanks for sharing your insights reagrding to this topic. I really appreciate your hard work. Keep it up!

- Kristine ^^ 

In my opinion, The people have to be skilled that was designed building something.
>> In my opinion, they should be skilled at designing something. 
Because the first step is designing that.
>> Since the first thing to do is designing.
Good design catch people's eyes.
>> Good design attracts attention and interest.
And this give attractive impression to people.
>> People perceive this as appealing.
Second step is tool's skill.
>> The second factor is the tools they utilize.
The people that want to make something need to have skilled that is tool's skill.
>> People who desire to create something must have good tools.
Finally If you have these, you can make something that you want it.
>> Finally you can make anything you wait if you have these skills.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129120 Please correct my sentence ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 4
129119 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 864
129118 crops ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129117 homework 06.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1692
129116 Homework 6/26 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129115 What hobbies do you enjoy? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1225
129114 The fiercest animal that I have seen ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1143
129113 Can you kill insects in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 855
129112 I disagree! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 774
129111 What is the best place in your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 2
129110 What are some effective measures social media platforms can... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1195
129109 How can media contribute to overcoming societal divisions? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1341
129108 What is your opinion about the rising number of young people... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1083
129107 What are the disadvantages and advantages of online education? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1937
129106 Do you like shopping? Offline or online? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129105 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129104 writing exercise ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1071
129103 6/27 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1670
129102 Writing Task 0626 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1
129101 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04