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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you collect anything? If so, when did you start collecting? How large is your collection?

작성자: 이*은
2023-06-20 767

회원님의 영작문

I think I seldomly collect something in passion nowadays. But when I was elementary school, the slap-match(ttakji) was popular among the students. So I used to buy some ttakji at the stationery store and obtain it by my friends through the match. I gathered them almost two boxes but as I grow up, those are not useful anymore. It's just slice of hard paper that has a character on it. Now that I'm talking about it, I can think of the fact that I collected shopping bags or boxes received from store after I bought something. I can use them when I have to carry various things. So I feel nice if the design of the bag is in my favor. I use it clearly, no wirnkle and contamination. But these days, it is more important to use multi-use bag to protect the environment. Therefore, I try to not use the plastic or disposable bag. But it's a question that many company encourages people to use multi-use bag and make them more would be helpful to nature.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ko Eun!
Your composition was outstanding. You demonstrated a deep understanding of the topic and showcased your creativity in presenting your ideas. I agree! There are those we collect when we were young that we thought are important, but as time pass by, they become useless to us.
- T. Caitlyn 
I think I seldomly collect something in passion nowadays. 
>> I think I rarely collect something passionately nowadays.
But when I was elementary school, the slap-match(ttakji) was popular among the students. 
>> But when I was in elementary school, the slap-match (ttakji) was popular among the students.
So I used to buy some ttakji at the stationery store and obtain it by my friends through the match. 
>> So I used to buy some ttakji at the stationery store or obtain it through matches with my friends.
I gathered them almost two boxes but as I grow up, those are not useful anymore. 
>>  I gathered almost two boxes of them, but as I grew up, they became useless anymore.
It's just slice of hard paper that has a character on it. 
>> It's just a piece of hard paper that has a character on it. 
Now that I'm talking about it, I can think of the fact that I collected shopping bags or boxes received from store after I bought something. 
>> Now that I'm talking about it, I can think of the fact that I collected shopping bags or boxes received from stores after I bought something.
I can use them when I have to carry various things. 
>> CORRECT
So I feel nice if the design of the bag is in my favor. 
>>  CORRECT
I use it clearly, no wirnkle and contamination. 
>> I use it clearly, with no wrinkle and contamination. 
But these days, it is more important to use multi-use bag to protect the environment. 
>> But these days, it is more important to use multi-use bags to protect the environment. 
Therefore, I try to not use the plastic or disposable bag. 
>> Therefore, I try to not use plastic or disposable bags. 
But it's a question that many company encourages people to use multi-use bag and make them more would be helpful to nature.
>> But it's questionable that many companies encourage people to use multi-use bags, and making more of them can be helpful to nature.
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