¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-18 627

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon.
How was your weekend?
Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
One day, I drank so much than usual.
Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
The staff tried to call me numerous times.
At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was a total blast, thank you for asking. And yours? 

Pretty much, it seems that profit makes the world go round. After all, it is the obvious measurement of your work efficiency and effectivity. While it is true that patients with diseases derive less profit, it may be crucial to treat and serve everyone to the best you can. I wish you rocketing profit next week.

Meanwhile, absence from work means unauthorized absence from work place, late attendance or leaving the place of work early without permission either orally or in black and white. Bosses and employees alike inevitably commit an absence due to unforeseen or unfortunate events. It seems that drinking has been one of your favorite past time ever since. Now, you just drink at home and nothing like the experience you gave has to happen. ^^ It is amazing that you still went to work in spite of all what had happened.

I was absent when I gave birth, when my parents died, or when there is an event to emcee. All the rest of the days, I report to work- Christmas, when I am feeling under the weather, or for any other reason other than death, giving birth, or emceeing an event. I guess I can also say I am somehow diligent in going to work.

Kindly go over my suggestions. The use of 'the' is more frequently present in the English language to function as a determiner whether the noun is specific or non-specific. Sometimes however, when we place 'the' and it is not needed, the sentence appears more awkward than the nouns that you may fail to put it. 

You have written  your experiences in a clear and grammatically correct sentences, excellent job!

-T. Donna~ 

Good afternoon.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
>> Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and the counselling managers were nervous all day.

Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ still felt so bad.

That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
>> Correct!

When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
>> When I worked in the public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.

Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
>>That time, the work load was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.

One day, I drank so much than usual.
>> Correct!

Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
>> The next day, I couldn't wake up, and I even couldn't receive the call from the staff.

The staff tried to call me numerous times.
>> Correct!

At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
>> Correct!

That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
>> Correct!

So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129174 WRITING TASK: What would the world be like without music? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2
129173 Slim ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1
129172 6/29 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2581
129171 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1796
129170 Is keeping your ex-partner¡¯s contact information and... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 3179
129169 Describe a person you admire. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2249
129168 What can you say about climate change? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 0
129167 What is the most boring sbject for you? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1813
129166 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1917
129165 What\'s the best way to pass a job interview? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1663
129164 Writing Task 0628 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 0
129163 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2009
129162 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 0
129161 HOMEWORK FOR 06.28.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1832
129160 Let me introduce myself ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1475
129159 My high school life ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2665
129158 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1
129157 media ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2970
129156 HOMEWORK FOR 06.27.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2576
129155 HOMEWORK FOR 06.29.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2136

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04