¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-18 413

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon.
How was your weekend?
Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
One day, I drank so much than usual.
Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
The staff tried to call me numerous times.
At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was a total blast, thank you for asking. And yours? 

Pretty much, it seems that profit makes the world go round. After all, it is the obvious measurement of your work efficiency and effectivity. While it is true that patients with diseases derive less profit, it may be crucial to treat and serve everyone to the best you can. I wish you rocketing profit next week.

Meanwhile, absence from work means unauthorized absence from work place, late attendance or leaving the place of work early without permission either orally or in black and white. Bosses and employees alike inevitably commit an absence due to unforeseen or unfortunate events. It seems that drinking has been one of your favorite past time ever since. Now, you just drink at home and nothing like the experience you gave has to happen. ^^ It is amazing that you still went to work in spite of all what had happened.

I was absent when I gave birth, when my parents died, or when there is an event to emcee. All the rest of the days, I report to work- Christmas, when I am feeling under the weather, or for any other reason other than death, giving birth, or emceeing an event. I guess I can also say I am somehow diligent in going to work.

Kindly go over my suggestions. The use of 'the' is more frequently present in the English language to function as a determiner whether the noun is specific or non-specific. Sometimes however, when we place 'the' and it is not needed, the sentence appears more awkward than the nouns that you may fail to put it. 

You have written  your experiences in a clear and grammatically correct sentences, excellent job!

-T. Donna~ 

Good afternoon.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
>> Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and the counselling managers were nervous all day.

Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ still felt so bad.

That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
>> Correct!

When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
>> When I worked in the public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.

Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
>>That time, the work load was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.

One day, I drank so much than usual.
>> Correct!

Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
>> The next day, I couldn't wake up, and I even couldn't receive the call from the staff.

The staff tried to call me numerous times.
>> Correct!

At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
>> Correct!

That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
>> Correct!

So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128835 Diffrence between talent and skill ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 338
128834 What is the most popular sport in your country? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 307
128833 What do I think to eat convenient store lunch boxes for lunch? ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 309
128832 In my diary! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 490
128831 What will you do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128830 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 539
128829 How do shared interests foster connections between people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128828 Do you normally go to one doctor in particular or any available... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 478
128827 Hello~ ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 3
128826 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 206
128825 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128824 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 683
128823 homework 06.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 260
128822 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128821 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128820 My sleeping hours ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 450
128819 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 539
128818 Writing Task 0612 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1
128817 What do you think are the disadvantages and advantages of living... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 549
128816 What do you want to do on your summer vacation? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04