¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-18 859

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good afternoon.
How was your weekend?
Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
One day, I drank so much than usual.
Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
The staff tried to call me numerous times.
At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was a total blast, thank you for asking. And yours? 

Pretty much, it seems that profit makes the world go round. After all, it is the obvious measurement of your work efficiency and effectivity. While it is true that patients with diseases derive less profit, it may be crucial to treat and serve everyone to the best you can. I wish you rocketing profit next week.

Meanwhile, absence from work means unauthorized absence from work place, late attendance or leaving the place of work early without permission either orally or in black and white. Bosses and employees alike inevitably commit an absence due to unforeseen or unfortunate events. It seems that drinking has been one of your favorite past time ever since. Now, you just drink at home and nothing like the experience you gave has to happen. ^^ It is amazing that you still went to work in spite of all what had happened.

I was absent when I gave birth, when my parents died, or when there is an event to emcee. All the rest of the days, I report to work- Christmas, when I am feeling under the weather, or for any other reason other than death, giving birth, or emceeing an event. I guess I can also say I am somehow diligent in going to work.

Kindly go over my suggestions. The use of 'the' is more frequently present in the English language to function as a determiner whether the noun is specific or non-specific. Sometimes however, when we place 'the' and it is not needed, the sentence appears more awkward than the nouns that you may fail to put it. 

You have written  your experiences in a clear and grammatically correct sentences, excellent job!

-T. Donna~ 

Good afternoon.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and counselling managers were nervous all day.
>> Since the profit for yesterday was bad, Dr. MJ and the counselling managers were nervous all day.

Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ felt so bad.
>> Correct!
Or: Today's profit is not bad, nevertheless, Dr. MJ still felt so bad.

That's because he wants that today's profit should compensate with yesterday's loss.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile, I have an experience that I was absent from work.
>> Correct!

When I worked in public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.
>> When I worked in the public health clinic, I drank a lot every night.

Because, workloading was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.
>>That time, the work load was relatively low for me and I was younger than now.

One day, I drank so much than usual.
>> Correct!

Next day, I couldn't wake up, even couldn't received the call from the staff.
>> The next day, I couldn't wake up, and I even couldn't receive the call from the staff.

The staff tried to call me numerous times.
>> Correct!

At that time, I was married, but my wife and I lived seperately, because we didn't have a child and she worked far away from me.
>> Correct!

That's why the staff called my wife, and my wife called the guard of my house, and then the guard unlocked the door and waked me up directly.
>> Correct!

So, I went to the workplace immediately, but I was too late, almost absent.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132321 How do you maintain your motivation when you fail? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2278
132320 What other job vacancies have you seen available on the... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1
132319 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1821
132318 Tell something about your work, like what you do? What are some... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 2361
132317 Asking favors ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-10 1659
132316 What is a language barrier and how does it affect you? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1809
132315 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1
132314 homework 11.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2301
132313 Why do you think people love following the trends? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 0
132312 What do you want to be good at? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2072
132311 Another country¡¯s food which i¡¯ve tried ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2389
132310 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1890
132309 What is your favorite form of entertainment? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1
132308 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1726
132307 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2
132306 What challenges might older adults face when trying to reenter... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1907
132305 What we shouldn\'t do when in the new place °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1
132304 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2039
132303 What was your favorite subject in school? ÀÌ*¹«¿¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 2209
132302 Do you feel the same way or are you more pressured in this case? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04