¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.16

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-06-16 798

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?

The army is has so many worst things.
First of all, the salary(wage) is too low.
Theses days a soldier receive 1million won (almost 43,700 peso) per month.
But in the South Korea, this salary is very low.
If I did work outside except army, I will get more than three times more.
The salary is rising now, but it's still not enough.
Second is bullying. Even it is goes on like a custom.
A few bad guys bullying other people use a creative ways.
But I never bothered other people.
These things really need disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?


The army is has so many worst things.
>> The army has the worst things.
First of all, the salary(wage) is too low.
>> CORRECT!
Theses days a soldier receive 1million won (almost 43,700 peso) per month.
>> Theses days, a soldier receives 1 million won (almost 43,700 pesos) per month.
But in the South Korea, this salary is very low.
>> But in South Korea, this salary is very low.
OR >> But in my country, this salary is very low.
If I did work outside except army, I will get more than three times more.
>> If I work outside the army, I will get more than three times of the basic salary.
The salary is rising now, but it's still not enough.
>> CORRECT!
Second is bullying. Even it is goes on like a custom.
>> Second is bullying, even it is goes on like a custom.
A few bad guys bullying other people use a creative ways.
>> A few bad guys bullying other people use creative ways.
But I never bothered other people.
>> CORRECT!
These things really need disappear.
>> These things really need to disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133205 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 7
133204 What situation excites and motivates you? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1254
133203 If you were given a chance what would you choose, to change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133202 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1271
133201 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133200 What do you think is the most important thing in life? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133199 The things that I appreciate. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133198 What are the advantages of having a routine or schedule? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1508
133197 homework 12.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1254
133196 Holiday ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 3
133195 I would rather live in a tree house ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1343
133194 Vice ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1
133193 What do you think of employee relocation? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1505
133192 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1198
133191 Studying grammar and practicing conversation skills ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1636
133190 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1835
133189 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1
133188 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133187 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 0
133186 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 1115

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04