¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you make new friends ? Is it easy or hard for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2023-06-14 647

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

- There are many ways to make new friends. Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. Also it could be rich in conversation. It makes them close each other.
- However, it is not easy for me to make new friends. Because I have not many hobbies and interests. Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
- Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don¡¯t want to do anything. Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. After that, I tend not to join a club. Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. So I have some difficulties to make new friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Demi!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please take note not to start your sentences with conjunctions if they are a continuation of a previous thought.
Analyze the proper usage of pronouns as well.
You can only use them if you have previously mentioned a noun to replace.
Be careful with your articles as well.
Overall, you have expressed yourself well and you made proper choices with your vocabulary words.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
There are many ways to make new friends. 
>> Correct
Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. 
>> Correct
People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. 
>> People usually open their mind easily to others who share a common interest with them. 
Also it could be rich in conversation. 
>> This can also enrich a conversation.
It makes them close each other.
>> It makes them close to each other.
However, it is not easy for me to make new friends.
>> Correct
Because I have not many hobbies and interests.
>> It's because I don't have many hobbies and interests.
Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. 
>> I am especially quite passive in talking with others at first. 
Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
>> Once I get to know them, I become very active and friendly to them.
Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don¡¯t want to do anything. 
>> Correct
Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. 
>> Thus, I used to break appointments to attend club activities.
Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. 
>> Whenever it happened, I felt sorry to our club members.
After that, I tend not to join a club. 
>> After some time, I just avoided joining clubs altogether. 
Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. 
>> Anyway, I think I am quite an introverted person. 
So I have some difficulties to make new friends.
>> So, I have some difficulties in making new friends.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129203 Recent interest ÇÏ*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 6
129202 Where dres o you want to celebrate your next birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3439
129201 School trip! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1505
129200 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2200
129199 What is the reason for Korea\'s decision to change its age... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 0
129198 What would motivate you to continue working out? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1579
129197 What can transform your business to a higher level? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2201
129196 What do you tell someone who lends you something? How about... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1747
129195 How can you make your weekend productive? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2534
129194 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1581
129193 If you could create a tourism slogan for your country, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2703
129192 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2847
129191 Give one way/ technique to be better in your understanding/... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 4612
129190 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1409
129189 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1861
129188 How could public transport in your city be improved? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2474
129187 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1
129186 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1
129185 What role do festivals and celebrations play in preserving and... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1
129184 What do you think are the purpose of business presentations? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04