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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you make new friends ? Is it easy or hard for you?

작성자: 김*지
2023-06-14 1297

회원님의 영작문

- There are many ways to make new friends. Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. Also it could be rich in conversation. It makes them close each other.
- However, it is not easy for me to make new friends. Because I have not many hobbies and interests. Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
- Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don’t want to do anything. Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. After that, I tend not to join a club. Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. So I have some difficulties to make new friends.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Demi!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please take note not to start your sentences with conjunctions if they are a continuation of a previous thought.
Analyze the proper usage of pronouns as well.
You can only use them if you have previously mentioned a noun to replace.
Be careful with your articles as well.
Overall, you have expressed yourself well and you made proper choices with your vocabulary words.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
There are many ways to make new friends. 
>> Correct
Generally, people join a club which they are interested in. 
>> Correct
People usually open their mind easily to others who have in common interest. 
>> People usually open their mind easily to others who share a common interest with them. 
Also it could be rich in conversation. 
>> This can also enrich a conversation.
It makes them close each other.
>> It makes them close to each other.
However, it is not easy for me to make new friends.
>> Correct
Because I have not many hobbies and interests.
>> It's because I don't have many hobbies and interests.
Especially, I am quite passive to talk to others at first. 
>> I am especially quite passive in talking with others at first. 
Once I get to know them and then I become very active and friendly to them.
>> Once I get to know them, I become very active and friendly to them.
Furthermore, I am a little bit lazy so if I am not in good condition, I don’t want to do anything. 
>> Correct
Thus, I used to break the appointment to attend the club. 
>> Thus, I used to break appointments to attend club activities.
Whenever it happens, I feel sorry to them. 
>> Whenever it happened, I felt sorry to our club members.
After that, I tend not to join a club. 
>> After some time, I just avoided joining clubs altogether. 
Anyway I think I am a quite introverted person. 
>> Anyway, I think I am quite an introverted person. 
So I have some difficulties to make new friends.
>> So, I have some difficulties in making new friends.
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