¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-06-07 562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What social problems are associated with old age?
Many elderlies lose their job. However, especially in Korea, there is a weak pension policy. Nowadays, because of the low birth rate, they cannot be guaranteed their pension. The government is organizing occupation for elderly, but it¡¯s still weak and few.

What thing or activity did you like most when you visited Jeju Island?
The last day, very before boarding airplane, my friend and I went to the shore near airport. Only 30minutes left to go but we bought sushi. We also bought soju and ate very fast. At that time, the feeling of wrapping up the trip and tipsy made me happy. I want to re-visit the Jeju Island with my friends.

I couldn¡¯t hand out my homework because the previous class is over so I submit in here.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin.
Thank you for doing your homework. I agree, pension is a very big issue in Korea nowadays and people far from retirement age are already worries about what might happen in the future. Also, thank you for sharing with me the activity that you liked most when you visited Jeju Island.
- T. Caitlyn
What social problems are associated with old age?
>> CORRECT
Many elderlies lose their job. 
>> CORRECT
However, especially in Korea, there is a weak pension policy. 
>> CORRECT
Nowadays, because of the low birth rate, they cannot be guaranteed their pension. 
>> CORRECT
The government is organizing occupation for elderly, but it¡¯s still weak and few.
>> The government is organizing occupations for the elderly, but it¡¯s still unstable and limited.

What thing or activity did you like most when you visited Jeju Island?
>> CORRECT
The last day, very before boarding airplane, my friend and I went to the shore near airport. 
>> On the last day, before boarding the airplane, my friend and I went to the shore near the airport. 
Only 30minutes left to go but we bought sushi. 
>> There were only 30 minutes left before departure but we still bought sushi. 
We also bought soju and ate very fast. 
>> We also bought soju and ate hurriedly. 
At that time, the feeling of wrapping up the trip and tipsy made me happy. 
>> At that time, the feeling of wrapping up the trip and being tipsy made me happy. 
I want to re-visit the Jeju Island with my friends.
>> I want to revisit Jeju Island with my friends.

I couldn¡¯t hand out my homework because the previous class is over so I submit in here.
>> I couldn¡¯t hand in my homework because the previous class is over so I submitted it here.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128330 My teaching style ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 789
128329 Answer : Choose one member from your family and describe him/her... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 573
128328 Gossips, Rumors. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 567
128327 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 581
128326 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 677
128325 Which country will you repeatedly visit and the reason behind it? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-19 3
128324 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 745
128323 Homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 656
128322 lesson À±*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 599
128321 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 623
128320 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 638
128319 homework 05.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 638
128318 The Gyeongju World is excellent. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 3
128317 Does your family go to the theatre? What movies do you watch? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 0
128316 In three to five sentences (3-5), talk about your \"worst day.\" ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 839
128315 What activities or games do you play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 739
128314 What do you think is an appropriate punishment for cyberbullying ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 589
128313 The country I want to visit ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 791
128312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 882
128311 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-18 526

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04