¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What could be your advice for people who are suffering from insomnia?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 1298

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Above all, people suffering from insomnia need to see a doctor for professional medical treatment. It could take psychiatric treatment to get well. On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep us peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert at late night.
Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them in faith in God. The reason why I can sleep well even in deep water is ascribed to my faith in God. So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to let them know how to respond it.
It is so heartbreaking to have more mental diseases including insomnia as time goes by. We need to improve this highly competitive society. If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new diseases besides insomnia. We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle down holistically and across the board.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve!
Your answers were outstanding. Your personality can be seen on your writing.
Great job!
~ T. Demi ^^
Above all, people suffering from insomnia need to see a doctor for professional medical treatment. 
CORRECT!
It could take psychiatric treatment to get well. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Psychiatric treatment could cure it.
On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep us peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert at late night.
>> On top of medical treatment, personally, we need to try to keep ourselves peaceful and happy all the time because worries or stress is one of the reasons to keep us alert late at night.
Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them in faith in God. 
>> Speaking of dealing with stress or worries, I have dealt with them through faith in God. 
The reason why I can sleep well even in deep water is ascribed to my faith in God. 
CORRECT!
So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to let them know how to respond it.
>> So if those in insomnia are non-Christians, I want to inform them how to deal with it.
It is so heartbreaking to have more mental diseases including insomnia as time goes by. 
CORRECT!
We need to improve this highly competitive society. 
CORRECT!
If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new diseases besides insomnia. 
>> If we don't do that, there could be more people suffering from new disorders besides insomnia. 
We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle down holistically and across the board.
>> We also need to put our heads together and approach this issue to tackle it holistically.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132886 Merits of using public transport °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132885 Does technology change your quality of life? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132884 English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2274
132883 homework 11.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2332
132882 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132881 My favorite game to do with my friends ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 3141
132880 Should students who cheat on tests be punished? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1937
132879 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1841
132878 Who has a better quality of life, a student or a worker? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 4
132877 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132876 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132875 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2089
132874 HOMEWORK FOR 11.30.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 3
132873 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 1
132872 First impression about you ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2524
132871 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132870 Who do you usually like to meet and where? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132869 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132868 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 0
132867 Certain amount of time ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2191

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04