¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think sleep is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 656

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. However, the truth is far from it. We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve!
Your composition is impressive. Continue your good progress. See you later!
~T. Demi ^^
Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Sleeping is one of the essential things to keep us healthy physically and mentally.
We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. 
CORRECT!
OR>> We sometimes find somebody more grumpy out of his character because of sleep deprivation, which doesn't do well for them. 
Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on your business or studies to fulfill outstanding achievements.
Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
>> CORRECT!
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Some people who consider sleeping insignificant try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
However, the truth is far from it. 
>> CORRECT!
We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
>> We humans can only recover, get animated, and be even inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
CORRECT!
OR>> So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, indicating that sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.
CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128741 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 606
128740 6/8 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1095
128739 When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 300
128738 Rock and roll!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 382
128737 What house chores do you do? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128736 What does a holiday mean to you? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 694
128735 How much money do you think a grade schooler should receive as... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 560
128734 Why do you think it\'s easier to have bad habits than good ones? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 323
128733 Have you ever thought of giving up your holiday due to... Le* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 794
128732 I am a angry bird ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128731 Writing Task 0607 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2
128730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1
128729 What advice can you give to people who are depressed? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 501
128728 How do you know when to stop eating? Is it easy to eat too much? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 473
128727 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0
128726 how weekend makes my feel ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 640
128725 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1102
128724 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 751
128723 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 776
128722 What kind of restaurants do you like? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 797

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04