¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think sleep is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 505

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. However, the truth is far from it. We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve!
Your composition is impressive. Continue your good progress. See you later!
~T. Demi ^^
Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Sleeping is one of the essential things to keep us healthy physically and mentally.
We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. 
CORRECT!
OR>> We sometimes find somebody more grumpy out of his character because of sleep deprivation, which doesn't do well for them. 
Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on your business or studies to fulfill outstanding achievements.
Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
>> CORRECT!
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Some people who consider sleeping insignificant try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
However, the truth is far from it. 
>> CORRECT!
We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
>> We humans can only recover, get animated, and be even inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
CORRECT!
OR>> So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, indicating that sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.
CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128175 What does ¡°inner beauty¡± mean to you? Do you consider... ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 400
128174 I think the people\'s born in the world have seen intelligence... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 375
128173 What are some possible compromises that can be made between... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 530
128172 Gardening ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 534
128171 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 477
128170 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 1
128169 10.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 2
128168 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 372
128167 What kind of business would you like to put up and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-12 1
128166 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 2
128165 homework 05.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 351
128164 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128163 What was the best gift that you received on your birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 751
128162 The most enviable thing about rich people is they can make a lot... ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 2
128161 When was the last time you had difficulty beating your deadline?... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 1
128160 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 328
128159 An animal that I want to be ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 310
128158 If you could change any one of your physical characteristics,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 455
128157 Having a good university degree guarantees people a good job? Do... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 383
128156 ¡°accidentally on purpose¡± ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-11 403

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04