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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-06-06 1045

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
I've arrived at home just before.
As I told you, my family went Sil-Mi island with my friend's families.
Since we got there so early, we could park near the beach.
So, we could move our luggages easily.
One friend has many experiences of camping and tools, so he helped others with his best.
He cooked Sam-Gyup-Sal, and then we ate it with the whiskey that I prepared.
Daytime drinking is always joyful.
And, our kids caught some small crabs in the seaside.
After that, they did a sand play.
It was a perfect time, excepting just one happening.
One couple argued seriously, and the wife cried.
We listened to her and tried to comfort her.
Fortunately, they patched things up.
Actually, I don't like her, because she always looks down on her husband, I mean my friend.
She likes money and luxurious goods, but my friend always work and work out everyday without any spending.
As for my assignment, I actually don't care who spends money.
It's my pleaure to spend money for my friends.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Dr. Kim!

It seems that you had one summer fun under the sun. Perhaps this is only the beginning of the many exciting activities you will have this season. They say, the early bird catches the worm, and so you did by parking at the best spot of the beach. Were there many people yesterday? Well, your group is one to beat with eight adults and eight kids.

Having a friend who is like a ranger or boy scout is such a good thing. He is knowledgeable of the know-how with some simple survival skills. As a matter of fact, rare people posses that skill. You were lucky to have him. Most importantly, the joy of looking at your children having such a great time is priceless. They shall remember this as they age. They are lucky to have this experience.

Now, there are really some people who are party poopers. They burst the bubble and instead of having fun, they tend to create drama to draw attention to themselves. Of course, I do not know the real score of why the wife of the other doctor cried and needed comfort but this was surely one occasion they both have not done that since it was supposed to be a time of fun and relaxation. It is good that it did not last for long and it was finally resolves.

Your friends are lucky to have you as their friend to spend money and quality time with them. In time, they become just like your own family. Money can not buy friends but can be a tool to enhance relationships.

You have consistency in innovation, vocabulary development, grammar accuracy, and style. Keep up the good work!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I've arrived at home just before.
>> Correct!
Or: I just arrived home. 

As I told you, my family went Sil-Mi island with my friend's families.
>> As I told you, my family went to Sil-Mi island with my friend's families.

Since we got there so early, we could park near the beach.
>> Correct!

So, we could move our luggages easily.
>> Correct!
Or: plural: luggage/luggages

One friend has many experiences of camping and tools, so he helped others with his best.
>> Correct!
Or: One friend has many experiences of camping and tools, so he helped others the best he can.

He cooked Sam-Gyup-Sal, and then we ate it with the whiskey that I prepared.
>> Correct! Very good use of 'the' in "the whiskey".

Daytime drinking is always joyful.
>> Correct!

And, our kids caught some small crabs in the seaside.
>> And, our kids caught some small crabs on the seaside.

After that, they did a sand play.
>> Correct!

It was a perfect time, excepting just one happening.
>> It was a perfect time, except just one happening. 
Or: It was a perfect time except  for just one incident. 

One couple argued seriously, and the wife cried.
>> Correct!

We listened to her and tried to comfort her.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, they patched things up.
>> Correct!

Actually, I don't like her, because she always looks down on her husband, I mean my friend.
>> Correct!

She likes money and luxurious goods, but my friend always work and work out everyday without any spending.
>> She likes money and luxurious goods, but my friend always works and works everyday without any spending.

As for my assignment, I actually don't care who spends money.
>> Correct!

It's my pleaure to spend money for my friends.
>> Correct!
Or: pleasure

See you.
>> Correct!
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