무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

When can development and progress be negative?

작성자: 이*은
2023-06-05 616

회원님의 영작문

It is a common belief that development is good thing for human beings. However, I firmly believe that progress have much more negative effects on environment, both the earth and people. To begin with, the untouched lands are dissappearing so the nature's function of reducing carbon dioxide cannot be activated well. As a result, greenhouse effect is getting stronger. Also the deforestation for construction of industrial development should be regulated.
On top of that, people are more nervous and stressful because of the high level of competition caused by progess. There is no limit about people's aspiration toward economical growth. They must be tired of the state of being strained.
To sum up, devastating environmental illness and dramatic human stress show that progress could be negative part although they have a lot of benefits.For these reason, development should be done by preserving the ecosystem and caring about human beings.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ko Eun!
Thank you for giving a comprehensive composition in your homework. You did very well in explaining the negative effects of progress and I couldn't agree more. There are minor grammar slips but don't worry, I can see your improvement in writing.
- T. Caitlyn
It is a common belief that development is good thing for human beings. 
>> It is a common belief that development is a good thing for human beings. 
However, I firmly believe that progress have much more negative effects on environment, both the earth and people. 
>> However, I firmly believe that progress has many more negative effects on the environment, both the earth and people. 
To begin with, the untouched lands are dissappearing so the nature's function of reducing carbon dioxide cannot be activated well. 
>> To begin with, untouched lands are disappearing so nature's function of reducing carbon dioxide cannot be activated well.
As a result, greenhouse effect is getting stronger. 
>> As a result, the greenhouse effect is getting stronger.
Also the deforestation for construction of industrial development should be regulated.
>>  Also, deforestation for the construction of industrial development should be regulated.
On top of that, people are more nervous and stressful because of the high level of competition caused by progess. 
>> On top of that, people are more nervous and stressed because of the high level of competition caused by progress.
There is no limit about people's aspiration toward economical growth. 
>> There is no limit to people's aspirations toward economic growth. 
They must be tired of the state of being strained.
>> CORRECT
To sum up, devastating environmental illness and dramatic human stress show that progress could be negative part although they have a lot of benefits.
>> To sum up, devastating environmental illness and dramatic human stress show that progress could be a negative part although they have a lot of benefits.
For these reason, development should be done by preserving the ecosystem and caring about human beings.
>> For these reasons, development should be done by preserving the ecosystem and caring about human beings.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
129234 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-07-03 2157
129233 My most passionate thing 허*영 완료 2023-07-03 2419
129232 Today\'s my homework 이*도 완료 2023-07-03 1742
129231 When to take an opportunity 성*경 완료 2023-07-03 2349
129230 My dream house 김*림 완료 2023-07-03 1994
129229 Writing task 안*형 완료 2023-07-03 2103
129228 Homework 신*화 완료 2023-07-03 1770
129227 Do you think mental health is more important than physical... 반* 완료 2023-07-03 2718
129226 What are other major issues that you can observe in New York? 박*경 완료 2023-07-03 2326
129225 In your opinion, what is the most difficult part of learning... 조*영 완료 2023-07-03 2610
129224 taxi-drones 장*규 완료 2023-07-03 3268
129223 Homework 홍*선 완료 2023-07-03 0
129222 homework 장*석 완료 2023-07-03 2176
129221 I think it\'s the destruction of the ozone layer. 윤*혜 완료 2023-07-02 2162
129220 I don\'t know well. 윤*혜 완료 2023-07-02 1461
129219 Homework 6/30 김*아 완료 2023-07-02 1
129218 Homeworks 6/28 김*아 완료 2023-07-02 1
129217 switch from 민*정 완료 2023-07-02 0
129216 Writing Task 0630 유*희 완료 2023-07-02 0
129215 What are the benefits of spending time in nature for physical... 김*규 완료 2023-07-02 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]