¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Fantastic Jeju island

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-06-02 810

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My most memorable trip was Jeju island.Jeju island is located in the southern part of Korea and one of the most beautiful places in Korea.Jeju always makes me relax and happy.Because there are so nice sceneries and good food.I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.It made me feel free and cool.And I hiked the hanla mountain which is the highest mountain in South Korea in the winter season.I could not forget the mountain with the snow and ate instant noodles on the top of the mountain.Finally, I went to a carbonate spa. The carbonate water was to relax my body and soul. After the spa I ate pork belly(bacon) which is one of regional product called black pig in Jeju.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Thomas! Thank you for this. I am sure that you will do very well in English if you continue to do good work as you have been doing.

-Teacher Joy
My most memorable trip was Jeju island.
>>My most memorable trip was to Jeju Island.
Jeju island is located in the southern part of Korea and one of the most beautiful places in Korea.
>>Jeju Island is located in the southern part of Korea and is one of the most beautiful places in Korea.
Jeju always makes me relax and happy Because there are so nice sceneries and good food.
>>Jeju always makes me feel relaxed and happy because of its nice scenery and good food.
I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.
>> I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.
It made me feel free and cool.
>> Correct
And I hiked the hanla mountain which is the highest mountain in South Korea in the winter season.
>> I also hiked Hanla Mountain, which is the highest mountain in South Korea, during the winter season.
I could not forget the mountain with the snow and ate instant noodles on the top of the mountain.
>> I will never forget the mountain covered in snow and eating instant noodles at the top.
Finally, I went to a carbonate spa. 
>> Finally, I visited a carbonate spa.
The carbonate water was to relax my body and soul.
>> The carbonate water helped relax my body and soul.
After the spa I ate pork belly(bacon) which is one regional product called black pig in Jeju.
>> After the spa, I ate pork belly (bacon), which is a regional specialty called black pig in Jeju.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129492 How would you describe a perfect weekend? ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3337
129491 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2712
129490 The biggest choice in my life! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1909
129489 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2157
129488 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1728
129487 Day2 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129486 How important do you think food is when traveling? Do you think... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2641
129485 What\'s your thought on this new business called the streaming... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2
129484 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 0
129483 HOMEWORK Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 1651
129482 The city I want to live ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2058
129481 What pet do you have at the home? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 3748
129480 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 1942
129479 2023.7.12 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2416
129478 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 1
129477 What\'s your favorite day of the week and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 3743
129476 What would you like to invent and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2293
129475 What kind of dancing do people in your country like? Is there... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 0
129474 I think some restrictions are needed. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2327
129473 I like everything except writing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-12 2193

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04