¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Fantastic Jeju island

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-06-02 477

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My most memorable trip was Jeju island.Jeju island is located in the southern part of Korea and one of the most beautiful places in Korea.Jeju always makes me relax and happy.Because there are so nice sceneries and good food.I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.It made me feel free and cool.And I hiked the hanla mountain which is the highest mountain in South Korea in the winter season.I could not forget the mountain with the snow and ate instant noodles on the top of the mountain.Finally, I went to a carbonate spa. The carbonate water was to relax my body and soul. After the spa I ate pork belly(bacon) which is one of regional product called black pig in Jeju.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Thomas! Thank you for this. I am sure that you will do very well in English if you continue to do good work as you have been doing.

-Teacher Joy
My most memorable trip was Jeju island.
>>My most memorable trip was to Jeju Island.
Jeju island is located in the southern part of Korea and one of the most beautiful places in Korea.
>>Jeju Island is located in the southern part of Korea and is one of the most beautiful places in Korea.
Jeju always makes me relax and happy Because there are so nice sceneries and good food.
>>Jeju always makes me feel relaxed and happy because of its nice scenery and good food.
I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.
>> I enjoyed riding a motorbike along the coastal road with my friends.
It made me feel free and cool.
>> Correct
And I hiked the hanla mountain which is the highest mountain in South Korea in the winter season.
>> I also hiked Hanla Mountain, which is the highest mountain in South Korea, during the winter season.
I could not forget the mountain with the snow and ate instant noodles on the top of the mountain.
>> I will never forget the mountain covered in snow and eating instant noodles at the top.
Finally, I went to a carbonate spa. 
>> Finally, I visited a carbonate spa.
The carbonate water was to relax my body and soul.
>> The carbonate water helped relax my body and soul.
After the spa I ate pork belly(bacon) which is one regional product called black pig in Jeju.
>> After the spa, I ate pork belly (bacon), which is a regional specialty called black pig in Jeju.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130310 Day10 ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-19 0
130309 Should schools should have dress code? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1155
130308 What are some measures that we can do to reduce our carbon... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1792
130307 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1529
130306 What is your own definition of school discipline and behavior... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 3
130305 homework 08.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 928
130304 How would your friends describe you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1068
130303 What do you think is the best place to travel to? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 991
130302 My favorite part about school ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1381
130301 Is it too late to solve climate change? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1117
130300 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 814
130299 When do you worry a lot? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130298 Impulsive shopping experience ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1137
130297 Do you respect people who can drink a lot? Why or why not? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1
130296 Which do you think is more important, modern dance or... °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1334
130295 WRITING TASK: What do you think is the most valuable thing in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 5
130294 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1705
130293 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 1104
130292 What do you enjoy most about water parks? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 0
130291 What do you include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*¾ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-18 2015

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04