¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

War

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2023-06-01 403

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I learned about many wars including World War 1 and the second World War in history classes. And I realized most of the wars were associated with strong interest. Wars related with resources, wars over some territory, and wars to get more colonies. Of course ,throughout all the history there were many wars for independence or social justice. Though, we can see some countries wage wars for their benefit or wealth. I think those countries will be destroyed and lost their precious cultural heritage.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Ki Yeon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I learned about many wars including World War 1 and the second World War in history classes.
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> I learned about many wars including First World War and the Second World War in history classes.
And I realized most of the wars were associated with strong interest. 
>> CORRECT! 
Wars related with resources, wars over some territory, and wars to get more colonies. 
>> Examples of these wars are related to resources, wars over some territory, and wars to get more colonies. 
Of course, throughout all the history there were many wars for independence or social justice.
>> CORRECT! 
Though, we can see some countries wage wars for their benefit or wealth. 
>> CORRECT! 
I think those countries will be destroyed and lost their precious cultural heritage.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127913 I think that is not bad. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 129
127912 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 0
127911 There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 2
127910 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1
127909 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1
127908 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1
127907 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 1
127906 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 153
127905 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 98
127904 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 84
127903 May 1, 2023 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 122
127902 homework 05.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 257
127901 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 3
127900 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 124
127899 4/28 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 2
127898 5.1 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 150
127897 teenagers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 110
127896 Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 104
127895 The biggest change how families are in Korea ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-01 156
127894 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04