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영작교정 게시판

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Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so, how? Have the changes been for the bett

작성자: 이*은
2023-05-30 1500

회원님의 영작문

My hometown has a lot of differences compared to past. Among them, the first thing that comes to mind is the height of the buildings. There are many reconstruction of buildings in my hometown and they're usually taller than they used to be. It's good things that new facilities are built so citizens can utilize them and enjoy the urban landscape. But, I think it's worse because we cannot see the sky well. For example, after an apartment was built in front of my house, I cannot see a mountain which I can see in the past even though it is far away from my house. Also, I can see the view of our hometown in the past, but nowadays there are more buildings that their heights are taller than my house. So it quite feels stuffy. I guess that many other cities are also suffering from this problem because the trend of reconstruction and for using efficiently the small area.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Wednesday, Ko Eun.
You are right! Changes in our cities may mean that the city is growing and developing but not all are for the betterment of the place. I also miss those times when my hometown was simple and very relaxing compared to it being commercialized now.
-T. Caitlyn
My hometown has a lot of differences compared to past. 
>> My hometown has a lot of differences compared to the past. 
Among them, the first thing that comes to mind is the height of the buildings. 
>> CORRECT
There are many reconstruction of buildings in my hometown and they're usually taller than they used to be. 
>> CORRECT
It's good things that new facilities are built so citizens can utilize them and enjoy the urban landscape. But, I think it's 
worse because we cannot see the sky well. 
>> It's a good thing that new facilities are built so citizens can utilize them and enjoy the urban landscape but I think it's 
worse because we cannot see the sky well. 
For example, after an apartment was built in front of my house, I cannot see a mountain which I can see in the past even though it is far away from my house. 
>> For example, after an apartment was built in front of my house, I cannot see a mountain that I can see in the past even though it is far away from my house. 
Also, I can see the view of our hometown in the past, but nowadays there are more buildings that their heights are taller than my house. So it quite feels stuffy. 
>> Also, I can see the view of our hometown in the past, but nowadays, there are more buildings whose heights are taller than my house so it quite feels stuffy. 
I guess that many other cities are also suffering from this problem because the trend of reconstruction and for using efficiently the small area.
>> I guess that many other cities are also suffering from this problem because of the trend of reconstruction and using the small area efficiently.
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