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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I agree with the exception of some.

작성자: 윤*혜
2023-05-29 1214

회원님의 영작문

I agree with the exception of some.
In our country, men tend to have a little less economic efficiency because women start economic activities first because men have to be soldiers for a year or two.
Also, women's physical standards are low when choosing people, perhaps because of physical differences.
In Korea, female civil servants (firefighters, police officers, etc.) are women, so they work more comfortably than other male civil servants.
When I hear these questions, I don't feel good.
Because it seems to me that the conflict between men and women is deep.
I think it is also important for each other to respect and understand each other.

So men are more competitive than women, but they feel like they're similar because of the influence of society.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Da Hye,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I appreciate your perspective. I understand that the conflict between men and women can be deep, and it's important to respect and understand each other. Men are generally more competitive, but societal norms also play a role in how they perceive themselves. Thanks for your input and participation in the discussion. It helps us learn from different viewpoints. Great job on your homework!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I agree with the exception of some.

>>CORRECT
In our country, men tend to have a little less economic efficiency because women start economic activities first because men have to be soldiers for a year or two.

>>CORRECT

OR>>In our country, men tend to have slightly lower economic efficiency compared to women, partly because women engage in economic activities earlier while men are required to serve in the military for a year or two.
Also, women's physical standards are low when choosing people, perhaps because of physical differences.

>>CORRECT

OR>> Additionally, women may have lower physical standards when choosing partners, possibly due to physical differences.
In Korea, female civil servants (firefighters, police officers, etc.) are women, so they work more comfortably than other male civil servants.

>>CORRECT
When I hear these questions, I don't feel good.

>>CORRECT
Because it seems to me that the conflict between men and women is deep.

>>CORRECT
I think it is also important for each other to respect and understand each other.
>>CORRECT

OR>> I also believe it is important for individuals to respect and understand each other.
So men are more competitive than women, but they feel like they're similar because of the influence of society.

>>CORRECT

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