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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-29 526

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
It's definitely summer today.
After it rained, a hot air conquered to our country.
I feel warm, so I am OK, however, some of our staff seemed to be sweat.
Dr. MJ was sensitive this morning as other days.
He got upset to many things that were not matters.
Because of his cold attitude, I felt bad as well, but I tried to move on; no argument, no bad response.
Hence, we could eat lunch together.
In spite of good taste, I couldn't enjoy my lunch.
And, I am supposed to meet my friends this evening, but now I actually don't want it.
However, I have no choice.
Two doctor friends who are close to me since we were in same college will come to me.
Maybe, they will want to look around our hospital, and even want to get some aesthetic procedure.
But, as you know, it's not a good timing.
It's too difficult for me to reject someone's request, since I was a little boy.
Anyway, as for my assignment, I want to be a teacher for foreign doctors and staffs someday.
It's not a serious plan.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

The heat is on in South Korea! Turn on your electric fans (air conditioner is costly), and beat the summer heat. Nothing beats the temperature when Dr. MJ gets uneasy at work. Then, everyone must pay close attention  to detailsso that you will have a cooler and chill summer.

It has almost been a year since we first met in class and you have explored so many ways of expressing yourself. As I read your essay, you instantly convey your thoughts and feelings oin how your day went by. 

Anyway, I  think that you have dealt with Dr. MJ well today, no reaction is a good reaction. It may be hard to treat him this way but one day, he will get tired of himself. ^^ Before you eat, pray that you will be able to enjoy your food and use your energy to work perfectly for the rest of the day. 

With your kind and generous attitude, rejecting someone or something is a challenge. However, we have limited time everyday and we need to choose what matters most. 

As a doctor, I think that you have already fulfilled the career of being a teacher to foreigners. As you treat your foreign patients, you also try to educate them of what to do to better their health condition.

You wrote with clarity, correct transition, and very good style. Excellent!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

It's definitely summer today.
>> It's definitely a summer today.

After it rained, a hot air conquered to our country.
>> After it rained, a hot air conquered our country.

I feel warm, so I am OK, however, some of our staff seemed to be sweat.
>> I feel warm, so I am OK, however, some of our staff seemed to be sweaty.

Dr. MJ was sensitive this morning as other days.
>> Dr. MJ was sensitive this morning as the other days.

He got upset to many things that were not matters.
>> He got upset to many things that do not matter.

Because of his cold attitude, I felt bad as well, but I tried to move on; no argument, no bad response.
>> Correct! Very good sentence! 

Hence, we could eat lunch together.
>> Correct!

In spite of good taste, I couldn't enjoy my lunch.
>> In spite of the good taste, I couldn't enjoy my lunch.

And, I am supposed to meet my friends this evening, but now I actually don't want it.
>> Correct!

However, I have no choice.
>> Correct!

Two doctor friends who are close to me since we were in same college will come to me.
>> Correct!

Maybe, they will want to look around our hospital, and even want to get some aesthetic procedure.
>> Correct!
Or: Maybe, they (will/want) to look around our hospital, and even get some aesthetic procedure.

But, as you know, it's not a good timing.
>> Correct!

It's too difficult for me to reject someone's request, since I was a little boy.
>> Correct!

Anyway, as for my assignment, I want to be a teacher for foreign doctors and staffs someday.
>> Correct!

It's not a serious plan.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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