¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-29 320

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the old age is the life of freedom. I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. However I think we cannot play something active. Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. There is no friend and children near me. I will be needy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin.
You are right. There is more freedom as we get older but the things we can become limited as well. Great job by the way with your homework, you did great with your sentences.
-T. Caitlyn
I think the old age is the life of freedom. 
>> CORRECT
I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. 
>> CORRECT
However I think we cannot play something active. 
>> However, I think we cannot play something active. 
Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
>> Elders can only do static hobbies such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. 
>> CORRECT
There is no friend and children near me. 
>> CORRECT
I will be needy.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128491 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 527
128490 homework 05.26 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 496
128489 Love is very important. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 360
128488 The language I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 284
128487 What do you like doing at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 612
128486 What is you favorite mobile game to play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 574
128485 homework:When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 235
128484 Do you think it\'s fair that so much of the world\'s wealth is... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 5
128483 I love my self! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 354
128482 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128481 Should cell phones not be allowed in schools? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 252
128480 How do you stay heathy? Do you like exercising? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128479 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 363
128478 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 404
128477 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 234
128476 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 372
128475 Homework for 05/23 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 2
128474 Homework for 05/24 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 1
128473 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 584
128472 May.26 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 386

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04