¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-29 429

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the old age is the life of freedom. I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. However I think we cannot play something active. Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. There is no friend and children near me. I will be needy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin.
You are right. There is more freedom as we get older but the things we can become limited as well. Great job by the way with your homework, you did great with your sentences.
-T. Caitlyn
I think the old age is the life of freedom. 
>> CORRECT
I can enjoy my hobby using the money which I earned before. 
>> CORRECT
However I think we cannot play something active. 
>> However, I think we cannot play something active. 
Elders can only do static hobby such as planting and cooking.
>> Elders can only do static hobbies such as planting and cooking.
Sometimes, it can be lonely. 
>> CORRECT
There is no friend and children near me. 
>> CORRECT
I will be needy.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129644 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2068
129643 Tell your teacher the last gift did you last receive? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1456
129642 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2050
129641 What do you like doing on your birthday? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1106
129640 2023.7.19 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1227
129639 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1
129638 What superpower would you like to have and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2112
129637 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1212
129636 Homework (7/17) ÀÌ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2
129635 Homework (7/14) ÀÌ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2
129634 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1291
129633 Which greeting kind of annoys you? - home work ¾È*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2
129632 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1589
129631 7.17 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 3
129630 In the snow! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1332
129629 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 2018
129628 What are some essential survival tips for outdoor adventures? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1288
129627 Believe ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 0
129626 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 1238
129625 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What do you want to include in your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-19 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04