¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-05-26 734

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. Especially being sick, I depend on my family. Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. They cook soup and wipe me up. The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Robin! 
Great job with your composition. You are right, when we are sick, we tend to depend on others and these are the times we appreciate are families more.
-T. Caitlyn
I need my family a lot when I¡¯m sick. 
>> CORRECT
Especially being sick, I depend on my family.
>> CORRECT
Also, my family take care of me with all their hearts. 
>> Also, my family takes care of me with all their hearts.
They cook soup and wipe me up. 
>> CORRECT
The poorest situation is the most necessary situation for me.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129968 What kind of self-defense do you know? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1626
129967 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: When do you prefer having a family... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 867
129966 The importance of team work ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1489
129965 What makes you happy? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1404
129964 Today(8/4) absence ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 0
129963 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1498
129962 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1789
129961 If you made a video about August, what would you put in it? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1596
129960 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1758
129959 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-04 1599
129958 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1594
129957 Do you think a diverse population is good for your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 2
129956 Do you think cramming, parroting, or just memorizing is a good... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1995
129955 What are your ideal working conditions? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1
129954 If you could change nationality, which other nationality would... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1
129953 Is the interview important? Why and why not? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 1
129952 homework 08.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 2088
129951 Why do you think children like chocolate? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 2151
129950 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 0
129949 Choose one that you like, Chocolate, Ice cream or Candies and... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-03 929

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04