¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The bad behavior is not good things.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-05-26 664

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think bad behavior is easily breaks other people's happiness or for their own happiness.
For example, be pickpocket, fraud, murder, ect.
I think we're animals that coexist after all, and we're collective animals that can't do anything if there's only one person.
It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's a problem for people who value others low for themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye,


I wanted to commend you on completing your homework and sharing your thoughts on the topic of bad behavior and its impact on happiness. You've provided some insightful examples and expressed your perspective clearly. I appreciate your effort in exploring the concept of coexistence and the importance of valuing others. If you have any questions or would like to discuss your essay further, please don't hesitate to reach out. Keep up the excellent work, and I look forward to seeing your continued progress.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think bad behavior is easily breaks other people's happiness or for their own happiness.

>>I think bad behavior easily breaks other people's happiness or one's own happiness.
For example, be pickpocket, fraud, murder, ect.

>>For example, pickpocketing, fraud, murder, etc.
I think we're animals that coexist after all, and we're collective animals that can't do anything if there's only one person.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe we are animals that coexist, and we are collective animals who cannot achieve much if there is only one person.
It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's a problem for people who value others low for themselves.

>>CORRECT

OR>>It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's problematic when people undervalue others in comparison to themselves.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127070 3.31 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 204
127069 today\'s homework Ãß*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 92
127068 death penalty ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 304
127067 Homework 1 ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 200
127066 Homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 978
127065 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 2
127064 Dear Queeny, ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 3
127063 Emotions ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 1
127062 Hello. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 2
127061 Skin deep! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 338
127060 I prefer mountains to beaches ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 143
127059 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-03-31 0
127058 Do you agree with the saying \"Money can buy happiness\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 1
127057 24.Mar.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127056 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127055 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 126
127054 amusement park rides ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 154
127053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 3
127052 Would you date someone introduced by a friend you met online? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0
127051 I job do you want in the future? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04