¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The bad behavior is not good things.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-05-26 506

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think bad behavior is easily breaks other people's happiness or for their own happiness.
For example, be pickpocket, fraud, murder, ect.
I think we're animals that coexist after all, and we're collective animals that can't do anything if there's only one person.
It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's a problem for people who value others low for themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye,


I wanted to commend you on completing your homework and sharing your thoughts on the topic of bad behavior and its impact on happiness. You've provided some insightful examples and expressed your perspective clearly. I appreciate your effort in exploring the concept of coexistence and the importance of valuing others. If you have any questions or would like to discuss your essay further, please don't hesitate to reach out. Keep up the excellent work, and I look forward to seeing your continued progress.

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think bad behavior is easily breaks other people's happiness or for their own happiness.

>>I think bad behavior easily breaks other people's happiness or one's own happiness.
For example, be pickpocket, fraud, murder, ect.

>>For example, pickpocketing, fraud, murder, etc.
I think we're animals that coexist after all, and we're collective animals that can't do anything if there's only one person.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe we are animals that coexist, and we are collective animals who cannot achieve much if there is only one person.
It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's a problem for people who value others low for themselves.

>>CORRECT

OR>>It's not a good thing to sacrifice yourself for everyone, but I also think it's problematic when people undervalue others in comparison to themselves.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128471 Answer : How important is meat in your country? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 215
128470 Submit a written output about the first impression of your... ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 0
128469 The bad behavior is not good things. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 506
128468 homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 377
128467 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-26 259
128466 homework 05.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 359
128465 What are you afraid of? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 3
128464 What are the best and worst things about being wealthy? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 4
128463 What advice would you give to a friend who is trying to overcome... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 284
128462 What are the possible reasons for missing deadlines? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128461 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 283
128460 What I like when I have free time ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 388
128459 What language do you want to learn and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 235
128458 Should the death sentence be implemented globally? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 242
128457 Jealous. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 454
128456 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 1
128455 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 203
128454 What kind of instant food do you enjoy? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 0
128453 What are the advantages and disadvantages of the popularity of... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 203
128452 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-25 817

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04