¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-05-25 933

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
It's a peaceful Thursday.
Actually, there was a bad happening.
Dr. MJ was mad about me severely.
Since he sent me a message in a Kakao chat which involves us and other managers just like an order to worker, I told him that I felt bad about it.
Just after that, he pointed out my attitude which is bad that he thought.
I was upset too, but I wanted a peace always as you know.
Hence I apologized for it, but he rejected.
I think he can't feel other's mind, but he is very sensitive about his own emotion.
He likes to give a negative feedback to many people, but he hates to receive any feedback from all people.
What should I do?
Basically, I like him and I can understand him, but it's difficult to solve this.
There is no choice but waiting his acceptance about my apology.
You know what?
I really feel bad about it too, but I have no choice.
I can't stand but drink a whiskey tonight.
As for my assignment, I really hate to make a relationship with criminals.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

It is 8:20 pm on my clock and I wonder if you are driving or pouring whiskey at this time. Nonetheles, thank you for your early homework submission. I had the time to read and suggest some grammar points and analyze a few things about how your day went by.

First of all, your day was peaceful until Dr. MJ sent you and your staff a Kakao message. If I am right, I remember him getting mad in the same way that he did yesterday. This time, it is more complicated because you told him how you felt and he was even mad about that too. So, to be fair, let me ask you and your staff, what have you done to upset Dr. MJ twice this week? Next is, why wouldn't he accept your apology?

If you think that he was being unreasonable for getting mad then you have the right to feel bad about him not accepting your apology. Anyway, in my case, if someone does not accept my apology, I will keep quiet and wait until that person is ready to talk to me. We cannot force people to fogive or feel comfortable about us if the time is not right. However, these situations tarnish relationships and leave a scar. Dr. MJ needs to be careful and respectful on how he deals with you regardless of your mistakes because you are business partners and it means equal rights and responsibilities. In addition, you are still older than him, thus, he has to keep this in mind before 'humiliating' you in the Kakao Group Chat. I think I am adding fuel to the fire. Just stay as peaceful and calm as you can. I know someday, your threshold will be crossed and you will explode. I hope that Dr. MJ will not reach that limit.

Many sentences are correct  and well-structured here on your composition. Continue being patient and diligent. Have a peaceful night!

See you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

It's a peaceful Thursday.
>> Correct!

Actually, there was a bad happening.
>> Correct!
Or: 
Actually, there was a bad (event/ encounter)./ Actually, there was something bad that happened.

Dr. MJ was mad about me severely.
>> Correct!

Since he sent me a message in a Kakao chat which involves us and other managers just like an order to worker, I told him that I felt bad about it.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Just after that, he pointed out my attitude which is bad that he thought.
>> Correct!

I was upset too, but I wanted a peace always as you know.
>> I was upset too, but I wanted peace always as you know.

Hence I apologized for it, but he rejected.
>> Correct!

I think he can't feel other's mind, but he is very sensitive about his own emotion.
>> Correct!

He likes to give a negative feedback to many people, but he hates to receive any feedback from all people.
>> Correct!
Or: 
He likes to give a negative feedback to many people, but he hates to receive any feedback.

What should I do?
>> Correct!

Basically, I like him and I can understand him, but it's difficult to solve this.
>> Correct!

There is no choice but waiting his acceptance about my apology.
>> There is no choice but to wait for his acceptance of my apology.

You know what?
>> Correct!

I really feel bad about it too, but I have no choice.
>> Correct!

I can't stand but drink a whiskey tonight.
>> I can't stand but drink whiskey tonight.

As for my assignment, I really hate to make a relationship with criminals.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132512 Do you want to spend your leisure time alone or with friends?... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1475
132511 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2310
132510 I live in Seongnam ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132509 My braveness and persistence ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2478
132508 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1458
132507 Do you think veganism is just a current trend that will... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132506 16.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132505 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4
132504 homework_231116 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132503 homework_231115 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132502 What do you hope to have achieved by the time you\'re... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2225
132501 After learning that I did something wrong ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2740
132500 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2057
132499 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 5
132498 What do you think about technologies taking over people¡¯s... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1448
132497 please write your expectations from the class and from the... Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132496 homework 11.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2371
132495 The book I¡¯m the most interested in ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2129
132494 Do you think people have fewer goals as they get older? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2309
132493 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1835

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04