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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-24 536

회원님의 영작문

Hi, there.
I am writing my essay now.
That's because there were a lot of works until just 1hour ago.
Actually, I was not busy last Monday and Tuesday.
Today I was too busy to have my time though.
There were many clients and I had to do some kind of administrative works.
This afternoon, our VIP ,who helped us too much, visited our clinic.
So Dr.MJ did a laser on his face for about 1 hour for a present.
There was another special client who is a sister of Dentist Choi.
Dentist Choi will install his new clinic on 5th floor of our building.
His sister lives in America, and she came to Korea after a long time.
Dentist Choi wanted us to make his sister brighter and younger.
Because of two VIPs, our clinic was full of chaos.
After closing the clinic, Dr.MJ, VIP man, and I went to a restaurant, and then we talked about our clinic's future strategies as we sucked grilled beef.
It was a great time.
I could learn many things from that man.
The ability to get along with someone is inborn.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Dr. Kim! 

It seems you knew that as the day progresses., it will only get busier. Thank you for writing your composition before your schedule got entangled.

As I have mentioned before, being busy is good. It entails a robust profit and solid stability in your profession and your clinic as a whole. I am not sure if you will come to love this daily process or just get used to the scenario. However, having some special people stopping by such as the VIPs can raise your adrenalin every once in a while and alter your schedule. By then, you may need to have some contingency plan. These opportunities come once and putting your best foot forward is necessary. Cheers to new connections for your business to flourish even bigger and brighter!

Gaining business acumen comes from listening and learning vacariately. Hence, never miss the chance to see clearly in people's intentions and goals. Getting along is the key to limitless opportunities. Stay alert and keep your eyes wide open as they unfold.

Your organization, grammar, and your entire capacity to give meaning to your experiences deserves commendation, excellent job!

I will see you in a while.

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Correct!

I am writing my essay now.
>> Correct!

That's because there were a lot of works until just 1hour ago.
>> That's because there were a lot of work just (an/1) hour ago.

Actually, I was not busy last Monday and Tuesday.
>> Correct!

Today I was too busy to have my time though.
>> Correct!

There were many clients and I had to do some kind of administrative works.
>> Correct!
Or: work

This afternoon, our VIP ,who helped us too much, visited our clinic.
>> Correct!
Or: This afternoon, our VIP who helped us much, visited our clinic. (Delete one comma.)

So Dr.MJ did a laser on his face for about 1 hour for a present.
>> Correct!

There was another special client who is a sister of Dentist Choi.
>> There was another special client who is the sister of Dentist Choi.

Dentist Choi will install his new clinic on 5th floor of our building.
>> Correct!

His sister lives in America, and she came to Korea after a long time.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Dentist Choi wanted us to make his sister brighter and younger.
>> Correct!

Because of two VIPs, our clinic was full of chaos.
>> Because of the two VIPs, our clinic was full of chaos.

After closing the clinic, Dr.MJ, VIP man, and I went to a restaurant, and then we talked about our clinic's future strategies as we sucked grilled beef.
>> After closing the clinic, Dr.MJ, the VIP man, and I went to a restaurant, and then we talked about our clinic's future strategies as we (devoured/ enjoyed/ feasted) grilled beef.

It was a great time.
>> Correct!

I could learn many things from that man.
>> Correct!

The ability to get along with someone is inborn.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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