¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most dangerous disease

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2023-05-24 1011

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. In two years she was getting better.Now she is totally healthy. Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Ki Yeon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. 
>> I think the most dangerous disease is an incurable disease. 
And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. 
>> CORRECT! 
With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
>> With a patient who is suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic attacks. 
At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. 
>> CORRECT! 
In two years she was getting better.
>> CORRECT! 
Now she is totally healthy. 
>> CORRECT! 
Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130217 Would you rather go to the beach or go camping? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1813
130216 To hope to avoid a vice ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1382
130215 To compare Philippine and Korea beaches. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1
130214 The best way to overcome heartbreaking. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1588
130213 The best exercise for the losing weight ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2031
130212 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1621
130211 Why do you like reading books? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 3
130210 Greeting is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2243
130209 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1736
130208 Would you send a dish back if it did not taste good or if you... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1
130207 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1217
130206 What should people with insomnia do? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1576
130205 What is the advantage of using the English language? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2137
130204 What are some ways to help you fall asleep? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1604
130203 How did you hear about this position? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1433
130202 Is overpopulation a problem in your town or country? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1714
130201 How can social norms and cultural influences impact behavior? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1303
130200 Do you have a favorite song that you love to perform? What is... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130199 WRITING TASK: How can helping others benefit someone? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2
130198 What is the main things of behavior ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04