¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most dangerous disease

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2023-05-24 1933

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. In two years she was getting better.Now she is totally healthy. Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Ki Yeon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. 
>> I think the most dangerous disease is an incurable disease. 
And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. 
>> CORRECT! 
With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
>> With a patient who is suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic attacks. 
At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. 
>> CORRECT! 
In two years she was getting better.
>> CORRECT! 
Now she is totally healthy. 
>> CORRECT! 
Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136544 How do you make new friends? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1422
136543 How does the cost of living affect people\'s lives? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1211
136542 homework 04.18 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1254
136541 What is your favorite bonding with your family? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1558
136540 Do you consider yourself lucky? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136539 >> Write something about your country\'s capital city. Write at... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136538 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136537 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136536 Keeping an eye on something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1372
136535 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 805
136534 How should someone who committed a crime for some good cause be... ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1146
136533 satisfy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136532 What kind of food do you want to make? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1380
136531 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136530 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136529 Name something you would like to improve about yourself and why. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1102
136528 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1116
136527 What is your favorite Korean dish? Can you describe how it\'s... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1477
136526 If you can be a celebrity or influencer, which one do you want... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1639
136525 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1581

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04