¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most dangerous disease

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2023-05-24 2105

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. In two years she was getting better.Now she is totally healthy. Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Miss Ki Yeon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I think the most dangerous disease is incurable disease. 
>> I think the most dangerous disease is an incurable disease. 
And some mental diseases are not able to be cured. 
>> CORRECT! 
With a patient who ia suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
>> With a patient who is suffering mental diseases including depression, the other members of family have a big grief and stress and they will develop the same mental problems. 
Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic disorder. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR >> Actually my oldest daughter used to suffer from panic attacks. 
At that time it was very difficult to see her suffering the disease and I cried almost every night. 
>> CORRECT! 
In two years she was getting better.
>> CORRECT! 
Now she is totally healthy. 
>> CORRECT! 
Through my experience, I realize some mental diseases make all the people including the patients have tough times.
>> CORRECT! 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138972 Are there any types of seafood you dislike or avoid? What is it... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1771
138971 Boracay ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1132
138970 What was it like growing up in your hometown? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 1340
138969 Do you like your major? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138968 2024.08.05 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1107
138967 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 2
138966 Me ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1027
138965 Unforgettable memory with my friends. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1193
138964 August 2nd homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1184
138963 Do you think mobile telephones are dangerous in any way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1168
138962 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1245
138961 Who do you admire, and how do they inspire you to be better? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 2
138960 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1662
138959 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138958 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1365
138957 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138956 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 0
138955 Children\'s using cell phone ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 4
138954 Organic food ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 1172
138953 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-05 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04