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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-22 563

회원님의 영작문

Hi, T.Donna.
Today is so boring.
There was nothing special in the clinic.
Since I slept early last night, I had a good condition.
As for my assignment, I have a correct answer.
All of our body is related to the inheritance.
Thus, many athlets have parents who are also athlets, while many doctors have parents who are also doctors.
As I mentioned, one of my best friend died 2 months ago, because of stomach cancer.
Her mother got a same cancer in her young age and cured completely.
There are many experiments about twins.
I am sure that you know that.
In spite of different circumstances, twins have a same disease, character, and even height.
Hence, when many parents considered someone as a partner of their sons and daughters, they want to know about that person's family.
It doesn't mean that it isn't necessary to take care of one's body though.
If we find something bad in our body quickly, we can treat it easily.
So, you'd better take a check-up for you and your son.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim! 

Thanks once again for the early submission of your homework. It is highly appreciated. Well, Monday morning is like a respite for you and your clinic staff since workload is minimal. In the afternoon until Sunday, patients and clients visit you non-stop and so goes another week.

I agree with your answer. Heredity from our parents or genes are the instructions inside each of our cells. They control how we look and how our body works. Understanding genetic factors and genetic disorders is important in learning more about promoting health and preventing disease. A genetic predisposition means that there is an increased chance that a person will develop a disease based on their genetic makeup. Therefore, when I get mad with my son, I always blame the genes of his father. ^^

I really hope that I can drag myself to the hospital again to have a check up. Today, I took the same pill (Salbutamol) and my hands were shaking a little bit. ^^ Anyway, I am fine now. I am glad to know that you had some free time to write down this essay. Tell me more of how your day went in class.

Meanwhile, your essay shows careful thoughts in putting all the ideas all together. Take note of my suggestions to make your sentences tighter and cohesive. Well done!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Today is so boring.
>> Correct!

There was nothing special in the clinic.
>> Correct!

Since I slept early last night, I had a good condition.
>> Coorect!

As for my assignment, I have a correct answer.
>> Correct!

All of our body is related to the inheritance.
>> All of our body is related to (inheritance/genetics).

Thus, many athlets have parents who are also athlets, while many doctors have parents who are also doctors.
>> Correct!
>> Thus, many athletes have parents who are also athletes, while many doctors have parents who are also doctors.

As I mentioned, one of my best friend died 2 months ago, because of stomach cancer.
>> Correct!

Her mother got a same cancer in her young age and cured completely.
>> Her mother got the same cancer in her young age and got cured completely.

There are many experiments about twins.
>> Correct!

I am sure that you know that.
>> Correct!

In spite of different circumstances, twins have a same disease, character, and even height.
>> In spite of different circumstances, twins have the same diseases, characters, and even height.
 
Hence, when many parents considered someone as a partner of their sons and daughters, they want to know about that person's family.
>> Correct!

It doesn't mean that it isn't necessary to take care of one's body though.
>> Correct!

If we find something bad in our body quickly, we can treat it easily.
>> Correct!

So, you'd better take a check-up for you and your son.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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