¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-05-21 919

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
There was a bad event.
One of my senior doctor's father passed away suddenly.
Thus, I went to the funeral to comfort my senior.
He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for the health well; He didn't smoke, drink, and he got annual check-up completely.
His father and mother lived together, but they slept seperately.
That's why his mother couldn't find him having a trouble immediately.
Sudden death typically is caused by heart failure or brain hemorrhage.
If someone who is near the patient calls the Emergency(119), the rate of survival will be increased.
Many people who are old live alone.
We need a family and friend, if we don't want to die alone.
Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to the wife's parents' house for celebrating Parents' day.
They will come home soon.
When I want to celebrate something, I usually invite my friends or family.
We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house moving.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

Last Saturday, I emceed a debut of a rich family, I stood up for more than four hours and my feet were sore but now, they are perfectly fine. Everyone had a great time and I am glad they did. 

I am sorry to hear about your senior doctor's father. Death remains one of life's greatest mysteries. Often death is shocking and unexpected. Family and friends suffer the pain of loss. It is like a thief in the night that steals life. But then, we all know that it is a part of our biological results and it is inevitable. Even without medical histories, as you shared in class, his heart enlargement may be the main causes. Nevertheless, may he rest in eternal peace.

Indeed, if we do not want to die alone, we can always have  a family who can take care of us until the end. To have one, we have to be one. 

Definitely, your little girls had a blast during the weekend. Chnaging environment for children helps them grow as resilient, flexible, and smart people.

Finally, in inviting friends, we always want warm, thoughtful, kind, and genrous friends we had overtime. Again, to find good friends, we have to be a very good one as well.

My grammar suggestions contain pronouns, diction, as well as capitalizatin. Read them below. Congratulations on your long and interesting sentences! Have a good Monday then.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

There was a bad event.
>> Correct!

One of my senior doctor's father passed away suddenly.
>> Correct!

Thus, I went to the funeral to comfort my senior.
>> Correct!

He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for the health well; He didn't smoke, drink, and he got annual check-up completely.
>> Correct! Very good sentence! 
Or: He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for his health well; he didn't smoke, drink, and he got his annual check-up completely.

His father and mother lived together, but they slept seperately.
>> Correct!

That's why his mother couldn't find him having a trouble immediately.
>> Correct!

Sudden death typically is caused by heart failure or brain hemorrhage.
>> Correct!

If someone who is near the patient calls the Emergency(119), the rate of survival will be increased.
>> Correct!

Many people who are old live alone.
>> Correct!

We need a family and friend, if we don't want to die alone.
>> Correct!

Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to the wife's parents' house for celebrating Parents' day.
>> Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to my wife's parents' house for celebrating Parents' Day.
Or:  Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to my in-law's house to celebrate Parents' Day.

They will come home soon.
>> Correct!

When I want to celebrate something, I usually invite my friends or family.
>> Correct!

We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house moving.
>> We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house transfer.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125457 ¡°There are foreigners in every nation, this is the beauty of... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 3
125456 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 2
125455 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 495
125454 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 0
125453 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 548
125452 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 473
125451 Do you have a favorite book character? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 585
125450 The pollution. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 563
125449 The latest appliance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 1
125448 What is you biggest insecurities? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 521
125447 Answer : \"To have a good friend, you need to be a good... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 632
125446 Do you think gambling is good or bad for gamblers? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 575
125445 What policy for women do you want for Iran? Share your answer in... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 2
125444 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 760
125443 Homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 708
125442 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 566
125441 Why is cinema paradise your all time favorite movie? ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 1
125440 What is the best way to make new friends? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 831
125439 Do you like any foreign celebrities? Who and why do you like... ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 2
125438 Does violence on TV influence some young people to engage in... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-08 676

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04