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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 신*화
2023-05-19 787

회원님의 영작문







I want to live on the outskirts of Gwangju.
The place where we lived before was Nampyeong on the outskirts of Gwangju, but my family liked it.
There is a riverside and there are several pretty cafes around it.
As apartments were built, marts and shops appeared, making life more convenient.
My house was a two-story house, but there was a small mountain across the house, so it was great.
There was a rooftop, so it was okay to run loudly, so it was good that the children could comfortably play ball and run around with the dog.
Our daughters, who are very active, always need such a space.
When the weather was good, I set up a tent on the rooftop and ate snacks, and in winter, I warmed up with a warm fire on the wood stove, and the children had fun playing snowball fights on the rooftop.
I want to buy a house in or near that house in Nampyeong again.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Eliana!
Thank you for sharing pictures of your old house and it is so lovely. I think your house is a dream house for most families where they can still enjoy the weather within their home. Maybe in the future you'll find a house similar to that :)
have a great afternoon!
Aki~


I want to live on the outskirts of Gwangju.
>> CORRECT!

The place where we lived before was Nampyeong on the outskirts of Gwangju, but my family liked it.
>>> The place where we lived before was Nampyeong on the outskirts of Gwangju, and my family liked it.

There is a riverside and there are several pretty cafes around it.

As apartments were built, marts and shops appeared, making life more convenient.
>> CORRECT!

My house was a two-story house, but there was a small mountain across the house, so it was great.
>>> My house was a two-story house, and  there was a small mountain across the house, so the view was great

There was a rooftop, so it was okay to run loudly, so it was good that the children could comfortably play ball and run around with the dog.
>>> There was a rooftop, so it was okay to run loudly, and  it was good that the children could comfortably play ball and run around with the dog.

Our daughters, who are very active, always need such a space.
>> CORRECT!

When the weather was good, I set up a tent on the rooftop and ate snacks, and in winter, I warmed up with a warm fire on the wood stove, and the children had fun playing snowball fights on the rooftop.
>> CORRECT!

I want to buy a house in or near that house in Nampyeong again.
>> CORRECT!
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