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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-05-17 577

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
There was a something special today.
Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present was arrived at home this afternoon.
That car's name is "D.Throne S".
Maybe you can google it.
I think that the car is the symbol of wealth.
It is too expensive; more than four thousands dollars.
That car can allow three people including two adults.
After my work, I came home as fast as I can.
And, I drive the car with my daughters; Irene and Rachel.
It made me happy.
During the driving, I could feel the fresh air.
Of course, my wife was so satisfied with that, too.
She told her friends about it.
Maybe, after several years, my daughters can't use the car.
However, we are going to have a good time for many years.
As for my assignment, I actually don't know my mind exactly.
Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoyed working.
For now, six hours a day is affordable for me, I guess.
I am sure that Dr.MJ and you won't be satisfied with that time.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Dr. Kim!

What a beautiful day for you and your family! After all, there is one costly thing that leveled up your happiness- the D. Throne S car! I am sure that you and your daughters had a fantastic time riding your new car. Wait, does Irene and Rachel have driver's license? ^^ Nevertheless, this shall be their first car ever and they have to be responsible drivers in the park. Meanwhilel, truly, I agree that this toy car is for the children of the wealthy like you and Dr. MJ.

If you are tired and feel blue, you can always bring this car outside and have fun with your daghters. Maybe, you can take photos and snap those good memories.

Meanwhile, those who generally genuinely enjoy work are more productive, happier, and more successful. According to reserch, if you want to achieve the perfect blend of productivity, happiness, and time affluence, a more realistic goal is to work slightly below 40 hours per week. The research shows that even shaving an hour or two off of the standard 40-hour workweek can have huge benefits, both at work and at home. This means an everage of eight hours or less would be great. As you said, six hours of work may work the best for you. Nonetheless, it is achievable someday when you can find another doctor to join your team, or when you are almost onwards retirement.

Many of your sentences are correct, well done! Pleae study some of my grammar suggestions as usual. I am s grateful for all of your effort.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

There was a something special today.
>> There was something special today.

Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present was arrived at home this afternoon.
>> Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present arrived at home this afternoon.

That car's name is "D.Throne S".
>> Correct!

Maybe you can google it.
>> Correct!
Or: Google 

I think that the car is the symbol of wealth.
>> Correct!

It is too expensive; more than four thousands dollars.
>> Correct!

That car can allow three people including two adults.
>> Correct!

After my work, I came home as fast as I can.
>> Correct!

And, I drive the car with my daughters; Irene and Rachel.
>>  And, I drove the car with my daughters Irene and Rachel.

It made me happy.
>> Correct!

During the driving, I could feel the fresh air.
>> During the drive, I can feel the fresh air.

Of course, my wife was so satisfied with that, too.
>> Correct!

She told her friends about it.
>> Correct!

Maybe, after several years, my daughters can't use the car.
>> Correct!

However, we are going to have a good time for many years.
>> Correct!

As for my assignment, I actually don't know my mind exactly.
>> Correct!

Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoyed working.
>> Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoy working.

For now, six hours a day is affordable for me, I guess.
>> Correct!

I am sure that Dr.MJ and you won't be satisfied with that time.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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