¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-05-17 325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello.
There was a something special today.
Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present was arrived at home this afternoon.
That car's name is "D.Throne S".
Maybe you can google it.
I think that the car is the symbol of wealth.
It is too expensive; more than four thousands dollars.
That car can allow three people including two adults.
After my work, I came home as fast as I can.
And, I drive the car with my daughters; Irene and Rachel.
It made me happy.
During the driving, I could feel the fresh air.
Of course, my wife was so satisfied with that, too.
She told her friends about it.
Maybe, after several years, my daughters can't use the car.
However, we are going to have a good time for many years.
As for my assignment, I actually don't know my mind exactly.
Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoyed working.
For now, six hours a day is affordable for me, I guess.
I am sure that Dr.MJ and you won't be satisfied with that time.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Dr. Kim!

What a beautiful day for you and your family! After all, there is one costly thing that leveled up your happiness- the D. Throne S car! I am sure that you and your daughters had a fantastic time riding your new car. Wait, does Irene and Rachel have driver's license? ^^ Nevertheless, this shall be their first car ever and they have to be responsible drivers in the park. Meanwhilel, truly, I agree that this toy car is for the children of the wealthy like you and Dr. MJ.

If you are tired and feel blue, you can always bring this car outside and have fun with your daghters. Maybe, you can take photos and snap those good memories.

Meanwhile, those who generally genuinely enjoy work are more productive, happier, and more successful. According to reserch, if you want to achieve the perfect blend of productivity, happiness, and time affluence, a more realistic goal is to work slightly below 40 hours per week. The research shows that even shaving an hour or two off of the standard 40-hour workweek can have huge benefits, both at work and at home. This means an everage of eight hours or less would be great. As you said, six hours of work may work the best for you. Nonetheless, it is achievable someday when you can find another doctor to join your team, or when you are almost onwards retirement.

Many of your sentences are correct, well done! Pleae study some of my grammar suggestions as usual. I am s grateful for all of your effort.

See you then!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

There was a something special today.
>> There was something special today.

Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present was arrived at home this afternoon.
>> Dr.MJ ordered some kind of electric small car for us before, and that present arrived at home this afternoon.

That car's name is "D.Throne S".
>> Correct!

Maybe you can google it.
>> Correct!
Or: Google 

I think that the car is the symbol of wealth.
>> Correct!

It is too expensive; more than four thousands dollars.
>> Correct!

That car can allow three people including two adults.
>> Correct!

After my work, I came home as fast as I can.
>> Correct!

And, I drive the car with my daughters; Irene and Rachel.
>>  And, I drove the car with my daughters Irene and Rachel.

It made me happy.
>> Correct!

During the driving, I could feel the fresh air.
>> During the drive, I can feel the fresh air.

Of course, my wife was so satisfied with that, too.
>> Correct!

She told her friends about it.
>> Correct!

Maybe, after several years, my daughters can't use the car.
>> Correct!

However, we are going to have a good time for many years.
>> Correct!

As for my assignment, I actually don't know my mind exactly.
>> Correct!

Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoyed working.
>> Sometimes, I was sick of my work, but at times, I enjoy working.

For now, six hours a day is affordable for me, I guess.
>> Correct!

I am sure that Dr.MJ and you won't be satisfied with that time.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129164 Writing Task 0628 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 0
129163 If you were to call for a company meeting, how would you do it? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1414
129162 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 0
129161 HOMEWORK FOR 06.28.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1243
129160 Let me introduce myself ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1133
129159 My high school life ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2118
129158 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1
129157 media ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 2413
129156 HOMEWORK FOR 06.27.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1988
129155 HOMEWORK FOR 06.29.2023 Á¤*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1596
129154 28.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1
129153 What will you do this weekend? ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1
129152 DIRECTIONS: Use the following words in a sentence: ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 6
129151 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-29 1149
129150 What are the best ways to prevent misunderstandings? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 2
129149 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 980
129148 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 1247
129147 If a handsome guy keeps flirting with you, would you consider... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 5
129146 What do you enjoy doing during the summer season? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 1144
129145 homework 06.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3274

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04